I Love You Too
by hikarisaan
Summary: Mika has been in love with Yuu since they were both kids. He has long decided that he will confess his feelings to Yuu on the very day they leave the orphanage. But what will happen when Mika actually confesses to Yuu? MODERN AU, M for smut (in later chapters)
1. Chapter 1 - A Confession

"We're here!" said Yuu.

Mika and Yuu had arrived in front of a small apartment complex in a quiet street in the Narimasu district, Tokyo. The pavement sprinkled with soft pink petals, the sun radiating in the clear blue sky, the uninterrupted sounds of the cicadas indicating that summer had begun; a perfect image for the start of their new life. The apartment building was nothing luxurious but it fascinated the two boys. The façade of the building was grey and dirty; some cracks here and there adding to the overall oldness of the construction. It looked like it had survived a handful of earthquakes. Even though it wasn't the best, it still was their dream home. They stood in front of the building, admiring it, warm summer breeze caressing their face. All of a sudden, a stronger gush of wind stole some petals from a nearby tree. The petals swiveled in the air and landed on Yuu's and Mika's hair. One lonely petal landed on Yuu's nose and made him sneeze. Mika giggled. Yuu-chan was so cute. Yuu frowned, a light blush falling over his cheeks.

"What are you laughing at?" he said, his eyebrows puckered.

"Nothing, you're just too cute," replied Mika and pinched Yuu's cheek.

"What-?"

"Come on Yuu-chan! Let's get inside!" Mika cut him off, "We have to find the landlord." He took Yuu's hand in his and dragged him through the building's door.

"The landlord's apartment is right next to ours," said Mika, looking at his phone, "she sent me a message earlier saying that the keys are under the mat of her apartment, in case she's not home."

"Isn't it dangerous to leave your keys under the mat?" said Yuu, "I thought city people didn't do that." He bent down and lifted the mat.

"There they are!" he said, jiggling the keys in his hand.

Trying to stand up, his head hit the doorknob and a loud cry escaped his lips.

"Yuu-chan! Are y-, Huh?"

Coming to Yuu's rescue, Mika tripped on the doorstep and fell flat on top of him, banging his head on the door. Brusquely, the apartment's door opened.

"So, you two are the new tenants!" exclaimed a woman's voice.

Mika and Yuu raised their heads tentatively. They were met with a sweet looking young woman, wearing a huge smile on her face.

"Yes, it's us!" said Mika, reassured by the woman's smile.

"That's a rather compromising position," said the woman still smiling wide.

"Oh umm, I… we tripped and…," Mika started explaining.

"Can you get off of me already? You're heavy!" snapped Yuu. His cheeks turned red from embarrassment. They had made such a laughable first impression to a woman they had just met, and that they'll probably have to see everyday since she was their neighbour.

"I'm sorry, you were the one who got hurt like a dumbass!" replied Mika, irritated, "I was just trying to help you."

Nonetheless, he stood up on one knee and offered his hand to Yuu, a kind smile on his lips. Yuu placed his hand on top of Mika's without hesitation, looking at him with a look. A look that the woman, watching this scene play in front of her, knew all too well.

"You're so embarrassing," muttered Yuu while Mika was lifting him off the ground.

"I see," said the woman while scribbling on a notepad, "a fierce, although shy dark-haired uke and a cool, kind-hearted blond seme. Perfect!"

Yuu and Mika looked at each other with a confused look.

"Anyways," said the woman, "I am your landlord: Hikari Jiyu, 29 years old. I live here with my husband. It's nice to meet you!"

Hikari was a petite woman, around 5'2, with short brown hair and big round glasses. She looked far younger than her age and her Japanese was excellent despite her being a foreigner.

"I'm Mika Hyakuya and this is Yuu Hyakuya," said Mika and they both bowed, "nice to meet you too, Hikari-san"

"Oh my god! Wait, wait!" shouted Hikari, "are you… brothers?" Her hands were covering her mouth, an expression of pure shock painted on her face.

"Oh uhm… not exactly?" started Yuu, a rather scared tone in his voice, "we are family but we are not blood-related"

"You see, we lost our parents at a young age and we've been living in the same orphanage," said Mika, "we have always been together since I can remember."

"We became each other's family!" said Yuu, smiling and looking at Mika. Hikari had noticed the look. She could recognize this look anywhere.

"This is absolutely beautiful," she whispered, writing leisurely on her notepad. "I see," she said, her eyes back on the pair, "so, I need to show you to your apartment now. Follow me please!"

Mika and Yuu followed Hikari to the apartment next door. Yuu gave the keys to her and she unlocked the door. They removed their shoes at the entrance and went inside.

"So, here is the entrance; to your left is the bathroom; to the right is the kitchen!" she said, walking further in, the two boys trailing behind her.

"Here we have the living room, the balcony…" she declared, waving her hands. Mika and Yuu were looking around them fascinated by the idea that this place, as common as it was, was their own.

"And here," she said and sprung the two boys out of their reverie, "I left the best part for the end," she whispered, opening a door, her eyes shining, "is… the bedroom!" she exclaimed and soon after disappeared into the said room. Yuu and Mika looked at each other bewildered but still decided to follow her. The bedroom was small and consisted of just a dresser, a window and a double bed.

"This is the bed you two will have to share because, you see," said Hikari, patting and caressing the bed sheets leisurely, "there is no second bed!"

"Oh, that's okay, maybe I can sleep on the couch…?" said Yuu, following Hikari's hand with his eyes.

"No no no! That's impossible! The couch is broken and there are no futons! You will sleep in the same bed!" snapped Hikari. The two boys looked at her with a questioning look on their faces.

"Umm… sorry about that…" she coughed. The woman proceeded to leave the bedroom and stand in the middle of the living room with her hands on her hips. "Well! Anyways, this is your new home! I hope you'll like it and that we'll get along!" said Hikari with a bright smile.

"It looks lovely," said Mika, "thank you for everything."

"Don't mention it, I understand that you two are barely adults," replied Hikari, "I had to make a better price for you."

"Barely adults?" exclaimed Yuu, "I am 18 and Mika is 19! We are as adults as we can be!"

"Now, now Yuu-chan don't be rude!" said Mika. He placed a hand on top of Yuu's head and ruffled his hair.

"Hey! Why do you always have to remind me that you are taller than me?" retorted Yuu and slapped Mika's hand off his head.

"When did I do that?" replied Mika, "I just wanted to touch your hair! It's not my fault you have a height complex!"

"Height… Height complex? I do not have a height complex!" shouted Yuu.

"Yes, you do!"

"No, I don't!"

"Yes, you do!"

"No, I don't!"

"No, you don't!" said Mika, smirking.

"Yes, I do!" shouted Yuu instantly.

They stayed silent for a few seconds.

"Fuck," said Yuu, lowering his head, defeated.

Mika was still smirking. But Yuu had an idea. He raised his head.

"Hey! That's not funny, Mika," sobbed Yuu, "You're so mean!"

"Oh no!" said Mika with a worried look on his face, "I'm so sorry Yuu-chan, please don't cry." He approached Yuu with the intention of hugging him. Except, Yuu tackled him and they were both sent to the floor.

"I may be shorter than you but who's stronger?" Yuu was straddling Mika's hips, leaning over Mika's body, his hands on either side of Mika's head. A rustling sound filled the room. They tilt their heads at once to see Hikari frantically pulling tissues out of a tissue box. Blood was dripping from her nose.

"Hikari-san, are you okay? What happened?" said Yuu and got off of Mika.

"Oh no, it's nothing! I get this often," said Hikari, stuffing a tissue in her nose, "no need to worry about me. Please, carry on!"

"I'm really sorry for our childishness, Hikari-san," apologized Mika, "we often fight over stupid things like these and get carried away."

"Don't worry about it," replied Hikari, "this gave me great writing material and I enjoyed…" she coughed, "I mean… it's nothing!" she added with a giggle.

"Umm… well, I should be going now! If you need anything I'm right next door! Bye!" she said, all in one breath. She run to the entrance in a flash and slammed the door. "Oh... umm bye Hikari-san!" waved Mika at the closed door.

"What a strange woman," remarked Yuu.

"At least she is kind," replied Mika, "and don't forget that she lent us this house practically for free!"

"Yeah! She mentioned something about paying in inspiration?" said Yuu, "anyways, this is officially our home now, Mika!"

"I am so happy to share a home with you," said Mika in a soft voice, "I have always wanted to live with you after leaving the orphanage, Yuu-chan. I can't stand being away from you."

He took Yuu's hands in his and three deep breaths.

"I love you," he said, a light blush on his cheeks.

"Mika, I love you too," said Yuu, squeezing Mika's hands, "you are my best friend in the entire world. You are even more than that…"

Mika's heart skipped a beat, he couldn't believe what he had heard.

"I… I am? Yuu-chan, I was thinking the same thing too… you know… about us. This can be the beginning of something new and amazing. And… even if we haven't done anything yet, I… really want to be with you, Yuu-chan. I want to-" Yuu cut him off.

"Me too, Mika. I want us to start our life together as adults."

Mika was lost into Yuu's green eyes, these same green eyes he had fallen in love with ever since he had seen them for the first time.

"Let's do the most adult thing we can think of," exclaimed Yuu, his eyes shining with excitement, "let's do it right now!"

Mika could feel his face growing hot. He could already tell that his cheeks were red.

"Y… Yuu-chan…" stuttered Mika, "I-If you are ready…. You know that I-I would do anything for you,"

"Okay so, with what should we start?" asked Yuu.

Mika was amazed at Yuu's straightforwardness. They were progressing too fast. He never though Yuu would love him back, and even go as far as asking him for such things.

"Yuu-chan, maybe…we can start with something a bit… simpler?"

"Oh! Come on, Mika! Don't be scared! How about…"

He hesitated, an anxious Mika staring at him.

"I know! Something simple!" said Yuu excitedly, "Grocery shopping! Grocery shopping can't be too hard! Let's buy food for this week!"

He broke free from Mika's hands and run to the door to get his shoes on.

"Come on Mika, lets' go!"

Mika was standing in the middle of the living room, mouth agape. He had just started to process what exactly has happened when Yuu called out to him.

"Mika? Are you okay?" said Yuu, worry in his voice.

"Huh? Yes, I am perfectly fine. Now, let's get going, quickly!" he brushed him off. He should forget any of this ever happened. 'Grocery shopping. Focus on grocery shopping,' he said to himself.

He got his shoes on, pushed Yuu in front of him and slammed the door behind them. They arrived at the supermarket which was a 10-minute walk from their place. The walk was uneventful, not without Yuu constantly asking why Mika's face was red and why his eyes were wet.

"What should we buy?" said Yuu, looking amazed at the supermarket shelves.

The products the supermarket offered here were ten times more varied than the ones they had back at the orphanage. They had every type of chocolates, sweets and delicious things Yuu had never even seen in his life. They had everything Yuu had ever wanted.

"Mika, look!" said Yuu, excitedly pointing at a shelf, "they have the limited edition Kinder eggs!"

"Yuu-chan, we shouldn't waste the little money we have on useless crap," said Mika, pushing the supermarket kart in front of him.

"Are you saying that my happiness is useless?" said Yuu, giving the puppy dog eyes to Mika.

"Come on, Yuu-chan, that's no fun," replied Mika, "don't make me feel guilty about not buying you a stupid Kinder egg."

"But last time we were in a supermarket, you gave in and you did buy me the giant cake I wanted," said Yuu, teasingly.

"That was when we were 13," said Mika, "I wasted my pocket money for the whole month because of you."

"You really like to spoil me," said Yuu and embraced Mika's arm, resting his head on his shoulder.

That he liked to spoil him was an understatement. He loved to spoil him. He needed to spoil him. He couldn't help it. He indulged Yuu's every wish. He could never do anything to upset him. He loved Yuu so much. So much, it hurt.

"Fine, I guess you are right. I should behave more responsibly," said Yuu.

"So, what do you want to eat?" asked Mika, "I'll cook anything you want. It's been a while since I cooked for you."

"Oh yes! Mika's cooking is the best! ~" said Yuu, in an adorable voice.

Mika's heart started beating faster. Yuu always found new ways to make Mika feel flustered. And this stupid kid hadn't even realized what he did to Mika's heart on a daily basis; hadn't even realized how much this hurt him.

They chose all the ingredients and moved to the cash registers which were packed with customers waiting to get their groceries checked out. The line was long which meant that Mika could stare at Yuu all he wanted. He had made it a habit of gazing at him as often as he could. Yuu was so beautiful, the most beautiful person in Mika's eyes; his green eyes that were sparkling whenever he was excited, his cute nose, his pretty lips that had the capacity of turning into the most heartfelt of smiles which always made Mika's heart skip a beat, and his silky black hair falling over his forehead. Mika could go on and on forever. He couldn't help but feel a sting in his heart at the thought of Yuu not being his.

He allowed himself to avert his eyes only for a single second; this single second was enough for him to notice a shelf with some glossy packages. He read the labels: "XL", "Ultra-Thin", "Lubricated". He soon realized what they were and he shot his eyes to his shoes. He could feel his face growing hot. He looked at Yuu again. He hadn't noticed his state. Good. God knows how much Yuu would tease him if he found out that he got this flustered over some condoms.

A crazy idea crossed Mika's mind. Without a second thought, he grabbed one off the packages and hid it in his pocket. It was as if his hand was acting of its own will. He looked at Yuu once again: he hadn't noticed him, he was too focused on drooling over the food Mika had yet to make.

"Yuu-chan, could you go buy some bread?" asked Mika, "I saw a bakery across the street, it'll save us some time."

"Sure, I'll go," said Yuu and he ran to the exit.

"And just bread!" screamed Mika before Yuu exited the supermarket and was out of sight.

Mika placed the pack of condoms on top of his shopping kart. He prayed for it to soon be his turn so that he could pay for the condoms and quickly hide them back into his pocket before Yuu returned. His turn came sooner than expected and he did just that. He didn't even know why he wanted to buy them. It's not like he would use them, right? In a small corner of his mind, he hoped that he could. With Yuu. He would never ever admit it but he had thought about it countless times. Especially during his teenage years, he would often have to wash his underwear in the middle of the night, being careful not to wake Yuu up. He sighed putting the groceries into plastic bags. He was hopeless; pathetic.

"Mika! I bought the bread!" he heard Yuu's voice shout from the other side of the supermarket. Mika smiled at him and gave him a thumbs-up. Yuu blew him a kiss. 'There it goes again,' he thought. His heart started beating faster and his face felt like it was going to explode. How could Yuu affect him so much, without realizing it? He sighed for the second time this day. He really was hopeless.

When they got back to the apartment, it was already the afternoon. Mika felt beat. He couldn't process his feelings. He didn't feel sadness, nor disappointment, nor anger. He was completely numb. He just felt exhaustion; his broken heart had worn him out. He put out the groceries and arranged them in the empty cupboards and fridge. He felt for his back pocket. He grabbed the pack of condoms and threw them in the trash. In this moment, he felt stupid. He will never have sex with Yuu. He will never even kiss him. He will never do anything with him. They will never be together.

He started cooking dinner. His eyes were stinging. He felt as if his whole life plan had fell through. Which was, really, what had happened. He was planning to confess to him on the first day of them leaving the orphanage. He had waited and waited for this day to come. And the day came. And he had confessed. He had finally confessed his love and he hadn't been rejected. He should have been happy. But it still hurt. He realized that Yuu would never see him as a potential lover. He felt a lump starting to form in his throat but quickly swallowed it. Maybe what had happened was for the best. Besides, the chances of Yuu actually accepting him and returning his feelings were very minimal. There was also the possibility that Yuu would not accept, nor return his feelings. If he had confessed and this was the result, things would have turned for the worse. Yuu would know that Mika was gay, he would know that Mika was in love with him. They wouldn't feel comfortable with each other. They wouldn't feel comfortable being so close anymore, physically and emotionally, as they are right now. They would probably not be comfortable living in the same house. By staying as they were now, Mika was able to be closer to Yuu.

It was for the best.

"Dinner's ready," yelled Mika from the kitchen.

They sat down in the living room and started eating.

"It's so delicious," said Yuu, stuffing his mouth with food, "I love your cooking!"

Mika felt flustered again. He felt so annoyed at himself. He had to stop feeling this way.

"Thank you, Yuu," he said.

"Where's the -chan? You've always called me Yuu-chan before,"

"Well, don't you think it's a bit childish, still calling you Yuu-chan?" said Mika, "you used to hate it when we were smaller."

"Maybe, but I'm so used to it now," responded Yuu, "besides, deep down, I really like it," he added with a smile.

"Ok well, I'll still call you Yuu-chan if that makes you happy," Mika replied, "now if you'll excuse me, I need to go to the bathroom. Please continue eating."

He left the table, entered the bathroom and locked the door behind him. He looked at himself in the mirror. His eyes were looking sad. He was worried that Yuu would notice. His heart ached so much. He wanted Yuu to be his so much. Tears started rolling down his cheeks. Above everything, he didn't want to make Yuu worried. He splashed water on his face and took deep breaths. He had to get himself together before exiting the bathroom. After calming himself down, he unlocked the door and found Yuu waiting for him right in front of the bathroom.

"Hey, are you okay?" he asked, a glint of worry in his emerald eyes.

"Yes, I'm okay," replied Mika, smiling.

"You sure? You seem tired,"

"Yeah, I am really tired," replied Mika, "all this excitement and everything…"

"Yeah, I understand, me too," said Yuu and caressed Mika's hair, "then, shall we go to sleep?"

"Yes, we shall," said Mika, trying to contain himself. He had to stop being flustered when Yuu touched him. He had to get used to it. Besides, it was like he had never confessed, he should act normally, like he always did.

He had thought. Until. They got in the bed.

"Good night Yuu-cha-," he started saying, getting under the sheets, "what are you doing?"

"Huh? I'm just taking off my shirt," Yuu responded, "it's really hot!"

Yuu had grabbed the hem of his t-shirt and had lift it over his chest in a swift movement, exposing all of his upper half. Of course, Mika had already realized how beautiful Yuu's body was. But now it was different. Yuu's beautiful body was half-naked, on top of a bed, with Mika on the same bed. This was too much.

"You don't have to, it's not that hot," said Mika, an obvious blush on his face. He averted his eyes from Yuu's abs to try to fight lewd thoughts from forming inside his head.

"It is. It's summer!" said Yuu, "Get yours off too."

"I don't want to," said Mika. He plopped on the bed and placed his pillow over his head to prevent him from looking at Yuu's chest.

"Come on!" urged him Yuu, "Get your shirt off!"

"I said I don't want to!" replied Mika.

"Then I'll do it myself." Yuu got on the bed next to Mika. He got on top of him and snatched the pillow off of Mika's face.

"What the fuck are you doing?" yelled Mika, "stop it!"

Yuu ignored his demands and ensued to grabbing Mika's t-shirt and lifting it over his body, not without struggle, as Mika was desperately trying to kick and punch Yuu off of him.

"That's better," he said, proudly.

"What did you do that for?" said Mika, his face all red.

"I didn't want you sweating in your sleep and then complaining to me about it in the morning," responded Yuu.

"It really wasn't necessary,"

"You'll thank me later," said Yuu and placed a kiss on Mika's forehead "Good night, Mika."

"Yeah, good night."

Only that Mika couldn't sleep. He could feel Yuu's slow breathing on his bare back. Yuu was so close. Mika turned to his side; a sleeping Yuu inches apart from him. Mika's breath hitched at the enticing image. A ray of moonlight was piercing through the window, illuminating Yuu's body. Mika could see every muscle, every bone of Yuu's chest. His body felt incredibly hot. He needed to touch him. To feel him underneath his palms, his fingers. His hand moved on its own, as if there was an Without realizing it, he had placed a hand over Yuu's ribcage. He could feel Yuu's lungs being filled with air with every breath he took. He could feel the pulsing of Yuu's heart. He could feel Yuu's whole being. Slowly, he traced the outline of Yuu's chest with his fingers. He made sure to caress every inch of the incredibly soft, warm skin. His hand traveled over his abs until it reached the band of Yuu's underwear. Mika blushed and quickly withdrew his hand before getting carried away. In that moment he got aware of his own underwear's tightness. He wanted more. So much more. Touching him wasn't enough, he wanted to taste him. He looked at Yuu's face. He was serenely sleeping, with his lips slightly parted. Mika placed his thumb over Yuu's pink lips. 'Just a little bit,' he thought and moved his head closer to Yuu's. He took a deep breath, and then. His hear jumped out of his chest. "Mhm…" Yuu had suddenly muttered in his sleep. Mika instantly pulled back with a shudder. He almost fell off the bed doing so, which pushed him to get down from the sleep like state he was in. To Mika's huge relief, Yuu hadn't woken up. Mika got up from the bed and hurriedly went to the bathroom to take care of the issue in his pants. He locked the door behind him. Panting, he looked at the bulge in his underwear. He had gone hard just by touching Yuu's sleeping body. The shame he felt at this moment was indescribable. He sunk to the bathroom's cold floor. He felt as if a big knot was climbing up from his chest to rest in his throat. He was suffocating. His eyes were burning. An unwanted tear rolled down his cheek, and then another one, and another one after that until his eyes and cheeks were damp with tears. He didn't dare touch himself in this state. His heart burned. "My Yuu-chan," he whispered, "I love you so much."

He couldn't go on like this. He had to end this, he didn't want to hurt anymore. He had to stop feeling this way. He had the immense chance of seeing Yuu every day. He shouldn't ruin this chance by behaving recklessly and getting found out. Just being with Yuu and occasionally fantasizing about him was the best he could get. He had done this all those years anyways. Everything should remain the same.

It really was for the best.

* * *

A/N: Hello everyone! I'm currently shaking. This is the first time I ever write a fanfiction. I'm so nervous! I had this chapter ready since November but I only posted it now, because I was so scared lol. I'm so excited to finally post it!

I designed Hikari based on myself, appearance wise and personality wise (I didn't back down on the whole fujoshi thing). "Hikari" means light in Japanese, which is what my name means in my native language. If you're a fujoshi or a fundanshi I hope you'll be able to recognize yourself in her.

I really hope you enjoyed this first chapter! :D


	2. Chapter 2 - I Like Teasing You(uu)

Mika woke up after what felt like a sleepless night. He felt like he had only properly slept for a couple of hour. His body was heavy, he still felt the linger of a lump in his throat. His chest felt tight. He opened his eyelids. The room was flooded with sunlight. What time was it? The window was open and the sun was already shining high in the sky. He turned to his side to see that the bed was empty.

"Mika, wake up!" Yuu's voice called through the wall.

The bedroom door flung open to reveal Yuu holding a cup of coffee. Mika's jaw dropped; Yuu and coffee? Yuu hated coffee. Though what was more astonishing than Yuu holding a cup of coffee was that Yuu had just taken a shower. His black hair was messy and wet, his bangs stuck to his forehead, water dripping from them, and just a t-shirt and boxers to hide his naked body. It was too early for this. Under normal circumstances, Mika would thank the universe for giving him this gift that is Yuu's handsomeness. But now, all he wanted to do was hide his face and cry his eyes out on the pillow. He hadn't realized at first how Yuu not responding to his feelings had messed him up. And he felt stupid for still clinging to this last bit of unrealizable fantasy. He wouldn't do the mistakes he did last time. Yuu is his friend. Nothing more.

"Since when do you drink coffee?" asked Mika, half by actual curiosity and half to try and focus his mind onto something else.

"Well, I thought that now that we are adults we should do these things," said Yuu, "going grocery shopping and drinking coffee in the morning…"

"Yeah, you're right," replied Mika, trying to act as detached as possible.

"Do you want one too?" asked Yuu.

At this point, Yuu was dangerously close to the bed. His proximity made it impossible for Mika not to get affected by him; the sight of his water-dripping hair, the t-shirt hanging around his cute thighs, the colour of his nipples and the outline of his boxer briefs showing through the transparency of the wet white t-shirt.

"Y-yes, please," replied Mika, trying to contain himself. He didn't really want coffee, he just wanted Yuu to be out of his sight as soon as possible. As much as he tried, he couldn't think of a situation where he wanted Yuu to be away from him. Even when they fought, he never wished for Yuu to go away. Truthfully, he felt sorrow for feeling this way.

"Ok, I'll make you one then," said Yuu and exited the bedroom.

Mika sighed in relief. He took a pillow and smacked himself across the face a couple of times to get himself back to his senses. This was going to be a long day.

After washing up, he went to the living room. He prayed for Yuu to have put some clothes on. He turned the corner; to Mika's huge relief, Yuu had worm some pants. He was searching through the suitcases they had brought with them.

"Hey Mika, your coffee is over there," said Yuu, pointing to the table in the living room, "you can take it."

"Thank you, Yuu-chan," said Mika. "Are you looking for something?"

"Not really, I'm just thinking we should start unpacking our things," replied Yuu. "We might need a bigger dresser," he added picking up a stack of Mika's clothes. "Actually, there's a lot of things we need."

'Yeah, we definitely need a second bed', thought Mika, recalling the events from last night.

"I don't think we can afford anything big right now," said Mika.

"Yeah," replied Yuu, he stood there and thought for a moment and then added, "we should find jobs."

"That's right," said Mika, "we should start looking,"

"I'll look online for part-time jobs near this area," said Yuu and got out his phone. He typed and scrolled and pressed until he found the right website. "There are some stuff here- wow the pay is unexpectedly high on this one."

"Really? Let me see," said Mika and got behind Yuu to look at the screen of his phone, he froze at what he saw next, "oh, umm, Yuu-chan?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't think it's a very good idea,"

"What do you mean?" asked Yuu, surprised

"Well…" hesitated Mika, "you know what this place is right?"

"Yeah, it's a maid café?" probed Yuu, "lots of people mistake it for a perverted place, but it's not," he scrolled down and clicked on a picture of a pretty girl in a maid costume "it's cute."

"Yeah, I know," replied Mika, "most of them are not, but this one seems-"

"It seems pretty ok, they're even hiring male staff. It couldn't be perverted!"

'It could. It could be very perverted,' Mika wanted to reply.

"Well, you never really know. These places are shady," explained Mika, "I don't think this is a good idea. Look at how high the pay is, it must surely be something illegal."

Behind his cool and composed image of a responsible adult, Mika couldn't stop thinking of Yuu in a maid dress. And he hated himself for it.

"Yuu-chan, let's find something else okay?" he concluded.

They spend the whole morning looking through newspaper ads on the internet. Unfortunately, they had no luck.

"All of them need qualifications," said Yuu laying across the couch "how are we going to find a job if we only graduated highschool?"

"Don't worry," said Mika, "I'm sure we'll find someth-"

A sudden buzz sounded from the front door.

"I'll go get it," said Mika and strode to the door. He opened the door and was met with their beloved next-door neighbour.

"Good evening!" she said in a lively voice.

"Oh, Hikari-san!" exclaimed Mika, "How are you?"

"I'm good, thank you," she replied, "how about you? Did you settle well?"

"Yes, everything is okay," said Yuu, who had joined them to the entrance.

"Do you want to come in, Hikari-san?" asked Mika.

"Oh, I can't, I'm off to go visit a friend," said Hikari, "I just came by to see how you were doing. And I also wanted to apologize for running off like that yesterday."

"Ah, don't worry about it," said Mika.

"Well, I really need to go, my friend needs help with her shop. I'm helping her until she finds an employee," said Hikari, "Unfortunately, she hasn't had any luck finding someone."

Mika and Yuu looked at each other. "Hikari-san, actually we're looking for jobs right now…"

Hikari stayed silent for what seemed like forever to Mika and Yuu. "Are you insinuating I should introduce you to my friend as my neighbours, so she can employ you?" asked Hikari.

"Well, yes. If it's not much trouble-"

"Are you kidding me? Of course I'll introduced you!" exclaimed Hikari and shook the two boys by the shoulders. "My friends shop is in Asagaya, we better get going."

Hikari led the two boys in her car and they all drove to the Asagaya district.

"We're here!" said Hikari as soon as they arrived in front of her friend's shop.

The shop's sign read "Red and Pink Camellias". The shop's window displayed a variety of flowers arranged by colour. The colours ranged from red to orange to yellow to green to blue to purple, making a rainbow. Hikari pushed open the glass door. The little giggle of the bell sounded and soon, the scent of flowers filled their nostrils.

"Hikari-san, long time no see!" spoke the woman standing behind the counter.

"How have you been?" said Hikari and went in for a hug.

The woman looked over Hikari's shoulder, where Yuu and Mika were standing.

"Oh, are they…?" she said, pulling apart from Hikari's embrace.

"Yes, it's them! Aren't they perfect?" said Hikari. "Anyways, you said that you needed someone to help you around the store. I brought them to you!"

She then turned to face the two boys, "There's only a spot for one of you though," she said in a regretful tone.

"That's okay, Yuu can go," said Mika.

"Wait! Are you sure?" said Yuu and turned to face Mika.

"Yes, you were really upset when we couldn't find anything," said Mika.

"You were upset too, we should-" objected Yuu.

"Really, you can take the job," Mika cut him off with a hand on his shoulder. He realized that his hand was trembling and tried to steady it. He felt a burn coming from inside his ribcage. "I'll stay home and cook for you," he added with a smile and lifted his hand from Yuu's body.

"Thank you, Mika," said Yuu smiling. He encircled Mika's shoulders with his arms and brought him closer to him. Mika did his best to try and return the hug, placing his hands on Yuu's lower back. He slightly bent his body forward, trying to minimize contact between the front of their body's.

Hikari couldn't prevent a little scream from escaping her lips. "Okay, so it's settled!"

"I'm Yuu Hyakuya," said Yuu, turning to face the woman, "it's nice to meet you," he bowed.

"It's nice to meet you as well!" said the woman, joyfully.

Yuu stayed in the flower shop, to get to know his new employer and learn the ropes of the job, while Mika and Hikari drove back home.

Mika was ready to push his keys into the keyhole when Hikari called out to him. "Mika-kun! Do you want to come have tea with me?"

Mika accepted politely and followed Hikari to her apartment.

"You and Yuu-kun seem close," said Hikari, pouring tea in her cup.

"We are," said Mika, holding his cup of tea with both his hands, "we're very close." The tone of his voice seemed strangely distant.

"Is everything okay with you two?" said Hikari, sensing the discomfort in Mika's attitude.

"Wh-what makes you say that?" said Mika placing his cup down on the table with a bang.

"I'm sorry, did I say something wrong?"

"No, no! I-I'm really sorry, Hikari-san!" said Mika, realizing how rude he had been. "It's just… I'm in a bad mood, that's all."

"If there's something I can help you with, you can tell me," suggested Hikari.

Mika remained silent for a second. Maybe voicing his troubles will be helpful.

"I'm not sure you'll be able to help…" started Mika, "but I guess I can tell you." He took a deep breath and continued "Well… the thing is that I-I like… Yuu…"

"Well, I knew that already," said Hikari, smiling to herself.

"You knew?" said Mika, shifting forward in his seat.

"You can see it miles from here," replied Hikari, bluntly.

"I… I hadn't realized it was this apparent," said Mika, taking his cup back from the table.

Hikari smiled. Young love really was so adorable. "It's hard to hide it when you're in love. There are some things, like blushing and the looks one person gives to their loved-one, that can hardly be missed. I still remember how you were looking at each other the first day I met you," said Hikari. "Maybe a regular person wouldn't have noticed, but I surely did."

"Are you not… a regular person?" asked Mika, tentatively.

Hikari started laughing loudly. "Ahh that was a good one," she said wiping a tear from her eye, "I won't beat around the bush: I'm a mangaka."

"Oh, really? That's so cool!" exclaimed Mika.

"A yaoi mangaka," said Hikari, crossing her legs, a noticeable smirk on her lips.

"Yaoi mangaka?"

"I basically write and draw relationships and sex between men," said Hikari her eyes lighting up, her lips stretched out into an enormous smile.

"S-s-sex… between-between… men?" whispered Mika, his face red.

"Yes! This is why I'm telling you, you can tell me anything about it!"

"Oh… umm Hikari-san, I-"

"Don't be embarrassed. I'm telling you, it's okay to talk about it," said Hikari "now, tell me what seems to be the problem?"

Mika stayed silent a bit, looking at Hikari. She was frantically nodding her head, urging him to go on.

"Well… I love Yuu… very much. And I told him that, and he said he loved me too," started Mika slowly, "But his kind of love is a lot different from mine. He loves me as a friend, as family, but I… I want more. I want to do stuff like holding hands, and hugging, and kissing, and… umm… s-sex too… I'm in love with him." Mika stopped for a moment, his throat felt tight, his eyes became teary. Words spurred out of him, he had gone through so much this past day, he needed to vent his feelings to someone. "But he doesn't love me back. And it's painful. And I don't know what to do. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I want to forget my feelings for him. I want to forget I ever felt this way. I want to stop loving him this way! I want us to be just friends! Why can't I stop loving him?" Tears started rolling from Mika's blue eyes, once again. Hikari sat next to him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

She spoke after giving him a tissue, from the tissue box she carried with her all times of the day. Mika was trembling and sobbing under Hikari's reassuring hand.

"Tell me, do you truly wish you were just friends?" she said in a soft voice.

"W-w-well, no I want…" sobbed Mika, "I want us to be more than th-that, but I know that it's impossible."

"And what if I told you that it's not impossible?"

Mika stayed silent.

"I have seen how he acts around you. It's not impossible!"

Mika responded with a quiet sob.

"Tell me Mika-kun, has he ever talked about anyone else other than you? Has he ever been interested in someone else other than you?"

Mika shook his head. "B-but… still-" he uttered in between sobs.

"I know that it's hard to comprehend that you like someone of the same sex. Let alone admit it. Wasn't is confusing when you first realized you liked him in that way? You have loved him for a long time, you know how it's like. He just needs to realize it, just like you did. It takes time. I know for a fact that he loves you!"

"Do you… do you really think so?" said Mika, a glimpse of hope in his voice.

"I do," said Hikari, "and I really want to help you."

"How can you help? Yuu will never understand. I'm not even sure if he even knows that it's possible for two guys to be together."

"Mika-kun, you're talking to a professional here," said Hikari-san, crossing her arms in front of her chest, "I'm sure we can succeed!"

Mika didn't have time to retort. Hikari had already stood up and was making her way to a door.

"Are you coming, or not?" she called out.

"Hikari-san, where are we going?" yelled Mika, and quickly stood up to keep up with Hikari's fast pace.

When the door opened, Mika almost got a heart attack. He had never seen such a chaotic room before: empty cups and plates on every corner of the room, a desk that could barely withstand the mountain of papers and books that was on it, two big bookcases filled to the brim with manga. Though this wasn't the only aspect of the room that gave Mika an almost heart attack. The walls were plastered in some very promiscuous posters, unconceivable to Mika's imagination.

"Hikari-san, what-what is all this?" asked Mika.

"This is my workroom, all these posters and drawings on the walls are for inspiration," she said and pushed aside some of the books she had on the desk, "sit anywhere you can find."

Mika took a pile of papers from a chair and placed them on the floor. He looked at the first paper on the pile. It was a drawing of a dark-haired boy, stripped to the waist and a blond boy on top of him, looking at him lustfully. These characters oddly looked like him and Yuu. He decided not to comment on this finding and sat on the chair.

"Your face is really red," commented Hikari.

"I-I know!" shouted Mika.

"Here we'll find all the knowledge you need to make Yuu-kun like you," said Hikari, and picked up some books and papers, "to the point where he'll beg for you."

"Hikari-san…" muttered Mika.

"This is what's going to happen, I can guarantee it! I mean, look at you! You are handsome and kind and you'll do anything for the person you love. And you cook! Yuu-kun could never have someone better than you. He will be yours, I promise! You just have to trust me and do as I say," said Hikari.

"I guess there's no harm in trying," mumbled Mika.

"Great! Okay, so first you have to make him understand that two guys going out with each other is a thing, and can happen to you too. And then we'll see how you can go from there."

Hikari's enthusiasm gave Mika a new-found confidence. Maybe he will succeed. He just needs to have the right approach.

He had thought, until Hikari-san started explaining "the operation", as she called it.

"Hikari-san, I'm sorry, there's no way I can do this," said Mika.

"Why? What's so difficult about getting him to watch gay porn with you?"

"No, this is so embarrassing! And all these other things, I- no, no way,"

Hikari looked at the list she had drawn on the flip chart.

"Okay, I understand, maybe we can find something subtler," said Hikari, "Mhm, he has to understand by himself." She stayed silent for a moment, lost in her thoughts. "I know!" She exclaimed and went over to one of the book cases to retrieved a book. "Here, take this!"

"What should I do with this," said Mika, taking the book in his hands. He looked at the cover "My Best Friend's First Love" was the title of the book. He flipped the pages and landed in a random moment of the book, "oh… wow, is that?"

"Yeah! A yaoi manga!"

"Yes, I see. But what do you want me to do with it?"

"I want you to have it around the house, in a place where Yuu-kun can see it,"

"Ok, and how is that going to help?"

"He'll see it laying on the table, he'll pick it up, he'll open it and see all the magic,"

Mika was looking at Hikari, with a freaked-out expression.

"Trust me, Mika-kun. This is the best way for him to understand what two guys can do together. This is the way I learned it and this is the way he'll learn it too," said Hikari, "and please be careful with it, it's the first yaoi manga I've ever read and I'm emotionally attached to it."

"Sure, don't worry, I'll take care of it," said Mika, "I'll also try to do these other things… even though I'm not sure if I can succeed."

"Mika-kun, have confidence. It's the most important thing. Do you want him?"

"I… I want him,"

"Say it again, with more confidence,"

"I want him!"

"Again!"

"I want him!" screamed Mika.

Suddenly, a knock on the door. Mika froze.

"Oh, yes. Come in!"

The door opened to disclose a handsome man.

"Welcome home!"

"Sorry, Hikari-chan. I didn't realize you had guests," said the man.

"Oh yes! This is Mika-kun, he's our new tenant!" said Hikari.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Mika Hyakuya," said Mika and bowed to the man.

"I'm Hikari's husband, it's nice to meet you too!"

"Mika-kun is living next door with his soon-to-be boyfriend," exclaimed Hikari and clapped her hands excitedly.

"Hikari-san, you know, the chances that it will work are still-" said Mika in a low voice.

"No, no, no! What did we say? Confidence!" shouted Hikari.

"Hikari-san I-"

"Is she bothering you?" asked Hikari's husband, "Hikari, what did we say? You can't use real life people for your stories."

"Why? It's better to get inspired by real life situations!" said Hikari. She got closer to her husband and whispered, "they don't know I'm using them as my subjects yet." She then turned back to Mika, "I just want to help two young boys in love!" She clasped her hands together, her eyes shining. "Go home and do as we discussed, okay?"

"As you discussed? Oh no, Hikari! What did you do again?" said the man.

"What, what did I do again? Let me work in peace!" shouted Hikari.

"Mika-kun, if she is bothering you, I can get rid of her," he offered to Mika.

"Oh, no… it's-" uttered Mika.

"Mika-kun! Tell him! I'm helping you get laid!" shouted Hikari.

"Hikari-san," said Mika and his face turned red instantly.

Mika entered his apartment. He plopped on the bed, holding the manga Hikari-san gave him. This wasn't going to work. At all. "This is so stupid," he sighed. Mika extended his arms in front of him and looked at the manga, he flipped a couple of pages and started reading. The two characters were childhood friends. They often slept over to each other's houses and slept on the same bed. Until, one of the characters decides one night to touch the other character and they end up having sex. Things happen and situations lead to them being a happy couple. Kind of dumb. This can't happen in real life. Nonetheless, he found it interesting.

Truly, Mika didn't have anything to lose anymore. He might as well try. He went to the living room and placed the manga in one of the empty cupboards. This was too obvious, so stupid. Hikari had told him to be obvious. And confident. Confidence is key. He was going to do it. He was tired of waiting for Yuu. He will have to force Yuu to love him. He was too deep in his feelings for Yuu, he couldn't back down now. It was already too late. He wasn't worried about ruining their current relationship. He didn't want their current relationship. He wanted more. And he will never be satisfied before having this more.

Suddenly, he heard key sounds coming from the front door. Yuu was home. Mika closed the cupboard and quickly went in the kitchen. He slipped an apron over his head. Here it goes. The operation was on. Mika wanted to slap himself across the face at how silly this was.

"Hi, Mika!" said Yuu.

"Welcome home, honey!" said Mika, emerging from the kitchen.

Yuu became red, instantly. "Mika… why are you calling me honey? You've never called me honey before."

"Well, I like you, so…" said Mika. He got closer to Yuu and caressed the side of his face. "Isn't it normal to want to use affectionate words to the person you like?"

"I like you too, Mika. I'll call you honey too!" said Yuu, excitedly.

This will not be easy, thought Mika. But he will not lose hope. Hikari's words replayed in his head. Confidence. Confidence. Yuu will be his.

"Yuu-chan, make yourself comfortable while I'm making food. How was your first day at work?"

"It was good, the woman was nice and the shop is really pretty, although I don't know how it's going to be like when I actually have to service customers,"

"Yeah, you are a bit short-tempered," remarked Mika.

"What did you say?" snapped Yuu, instantly.

"Oh, nothing. I think you'll do great!"

"Is there a remote for the TV? We haven't checked it out yet," said Yuu.

"There must be, search in the cupboards," said Mika, from the kitchen.

Yuu got up and looked inside the cupboard below the TV. The cupboard was empty apart from one lonely book. No remote.

"Mika! The remote's not here!" yelled Yuu and closed the cupboard.

"Well, search somewhere else!"

Yuu walked around the room, looking inside the different pieces of furniture. He had done a full lap of the living room and passed in front of the cupboard below the TV once again. Curiosity struck him and he reopened the cupboard. He grabbed the book and looked at it. Yuu looked at the cover, his eyes wide. He flipped a few pages and his eyes met a full page of a drawing with two guys on a bed. His eyes widened even more. He was ready to flip the pages when, "Mika, did you find the remote?" he heard Mika's voice coming from the kitchen.

Startled, Yuu closed the book and hid it behind his back. "N-no, i-it's not… here!" yelled Yuu.

'He found it,' thought Mika with a smirk. "Yuu-chan, is everything ok? You're stuttering."

"Wh-what are you talking about!? I'm not stuttering, at-at all! You're so stupid!" yelled Yuu.

Yuu stomped to the bathroom. His thoughts were racing by a hundred miles per second. What was this book? Why was it there? Were they really…? Was that even physically possible? Manga are very different from real life, it couldn't possibly be true. Right? Before Mika called out to him, he was ready to flip the page. Why did he want to flip the page? He had to get rid of the book at once, it was making him weird. He opened the bathroom window and was ready to throw it in the street. His hand stopped. "God dammit," he whispered. He was unable to do it. He opened the book furiously. He couldn't fight the desire of seeing more of this. He was so insanely curious. He read the book from beginning to end. At first, he didn't like it at all but as he continued he involuntarily got engrossed in the story line. He understood how the characters felt. He wasn't going to lie, he found it romantic. He even read the sex scenes and found them beautiful. Even though he was shocked at all the different things two guys could two together, he couldn't help but blush. He had never imagined things like these could happen. The feelings two people share are indeed regardless of gender.

He hadn't realized how much time had passed. Half an hour, an hour, more? He felt as if everything had happened in the blink of an eye. He hid the manga under the stack of towels they had put in the cabinet under the sink. This was good enough for now, he'll need to find a better place later. Or throw it away, all together. He opened the bathroom door brusquely and was met face to face with Mika's collarbone.

"Mika! What the fuck are you doing here?" yelled Yuu, avoiding Mika's gaze.

"I just wanted to check up on you," replied Mika.

"Go away!" said Yuu and pushed Mika aside. He hated doing this but he couldn't help it. He almost turned around to apologize but quickly suppressed this urge. He didn't want to show his embarrassed state to Mika. He felt ashamed. He stomped to the bedroom, slamming the door behind him. Little did he know, Mika had noticed his embarrassed expression.

Mika proceeded to the living room. He opened the cupboard. The book was gone. This was too good.

Yuu was laying on the bed, looking at the ceiling. He had been unable to look Mika in the eyes. And he didn't even know why. He could've just shown him the manga from the very beginning and laughed it off. He started thinking about him and Mika. He felt that they were too close, but at the same time he loved this proximity. He liked living with Mika, sleeping in the same bed as Mika, hugging Mika. Was he like the people in the manga? Was Mika like the people in the manga? He had never fell in love; his life had been filled with Mika since day one. Just as if he had heard his thoughts, Mika knocked on the door, attempting to fill his life again.

"Can I come in?" sounded Mika's voice behind the door.

It would look suspicious if he said no. He didn't respond, so Mika took this as a green light. He entered the bedroom and sat on the edge of their shared bed.

"Are you okay?" said Mika and placed a hand on Yuu's leg. Yuu flinched at the touch. Mika was acting weird. Or maybe he was the one acting weird.

"Yeah, I'm fine," said Yuu and he slightly inched his leg away from Mika's hand.

"Dinner is ready, you can come," said Mika and stood up from the bed. Yuu didn't move.

"Yuu-chan, I said dinner is ready," he repeated. Yuu didn't show any sign of responding. Mika smirked, he had seen the opportunity and grabbed Yuu's ankles. He started pulling on Yuu's legs, trying to drag him out of the bed.

"Mika! What the fuck are you doing?" said Yuu and grabbed the bed sheets to prevent from falling out of the bed.

"I'm getting you off the bed," responded Mika.

Mika continued persistently tugging on Yuu's legs. Yuu's sweatpants slid down to his thighs, exposing his underwear. Yuu startled, released his grip on the bed and his body slid to the end of the mattress.

"Caught you~" said Mika.

Mika was towering over a dishevelled, terrified and half-stripped Yuu. It took him all his will power not to touch him more. Yuu was looking irresistible.

"M-M-Mika, wh-why," mumbled Yuu. He didn't know what to say. Because more than confused and annoyed at Mika's actions, he was stirred by the lustful look Mika was giving him. He saw Mika looking at his uncovered skin with a hungry gaze.

"Mika… can you-can you let go of me, p-please," stuttered Yuu.

"You know… you have a very beautiful body, Yuu-chan," said Mika. Yuu wasn't going to admit it but he was aroused. It was the way his name, followed by the word of endearment, that sent electricity to the pit of his stomach. Yuu felt weird. His whole body felt weird. He had never felt that way before. He had to stop this feeling this instant.

"Mika, please… please let go of me. I'm going to come eat with you,"

"That's my Yuu-chan!" exclaimed Mika and released Yuu from his trap, "I was wondering why you didn't want to eat my cooking. I got worried, I thought you were sick."

He turned around and exited the bedroom. Yuu fixed his clothes and followed Mika out of the bedroom and into the living room. They both sat down on the table where the food was waiting for them.

"You like this, right? Eat up!" said Mika.

"Yes, thank you, Mika," responded Yuu.

He couldn't get out of his mind the image of Mika towering over him, looking at him with this indecent look. Why was Mika so normal now? Had he imagined all of it? Maybe the images he saw on the manga had influenced him.

"Is there something on my face?" Mika's voice sprung him out of his thinking.

"Wh-what?"

"You were staring at me,"

"I-I was not!"

"Yes, you were," said Mika "do you want to ask me something?" he added nonchalantly.

"No, there's nothing," said Yuu.

They resumed their dinner. Mika could see Yuu was troubled. He avoided looking at Mika. His gaze was fixed on his chopsticks instead.

"Yuu, are you done?"

"Y-yes!" said Yuu, startled.

"We also have dessert," said Mika, waiting for a positive reaction from Mika.

"Oh, oh we do?" said Yuu. Mika couldn't see his face clearly since Yuu avoided to face him, but he could tell he was extremely happy. He could picture Yuu's gleaming eyes and his wonderful smile, perfectly in his mind. Mika went to the kitchen and brought out the cake he had bough from the supermarket, along with some whipped cream.

"I figured since you like cake so much," said Mika and cut a slice of the cake for Yuu, "there's whipped cream too. You love whipped cream too, right?"

Yuu nodded. Mika shook the whipped cream container and topped some on Yuu's slice. He then took the slice in his hand and offered it to Yuu. Yuu extended his arm to try and take the slice of cake but Mika withdrew his hand at the last minute.

"Can I have it?" probed Yuu

Mika rested his head on his palm, extended his arm once again, the slice of cake directed at Yuu.

"Mika… what are you playing at?"

Mika didn't respond, he tilted his head to one side, and starred into Yuu's green orbs.

"I want to feed you," he finally stated.

"Wh-what?" uttered Yuu, "What are you saying?"

"You don't want to?" said Mika, with a hurt expression.

"Th-that's not it!"

"So? What is it then?" Yuu didn't respond. He couldn't respond. How should he respond? Seeing that Yuu didn't show any signs of responding, Mika took the slice of cake in one hand and dipped the index finger of his other hand in the whipped cream. He brought his two hands in front of Yuu's face. He then pressed the cake onto Yuu's lips. Yuu couldn't fight back his appetite for sweets, neither the sweet smell of chocolate that was filling his nostrils ever since Mika had brought the cake out of the kitchen. He couldn't wait to find out how it tasted. He opened his mouth on his own accord and took a bite of the cake. As expected, the taste was divine. Mika let Yuu enjoy the taste he loved so much before bringing to Yuu's notice his whipped cream-coated finger. Yuu looked up at Mika. They remained still for a while, lost in each other's gazes. The atmosphere felt electric. Maybe Yuu did love him after all. Mika remembered his mission, "Do you want some?" he asked, pressing his finger to Yuu's lips. Yuu looked down at the finger on his lips and back at Mika, his cheeks flushed. He was so adorable and erotic at the same time, Mika wanted to scream. It would've been weird if he started screaming out of the blue, so he opted to internally scream instead. Yuu opened his mouth and let Mika slip his finger inside. He started licking the whipped cream off of Mika's fingers. He was so embarrassed he couldn't look at Mika directly. When Mika retrieved his finger, a drop of whipped cream fell on Yuu's lips. Mika used his thumb to clean him; how much he wanted to lick it directly off of Yuu's lips and not have to use his finger, only he knew.

Mika decided that he had teased him enough and let him go.

"Did you like the food?" said Mika.

"Yes, yes, I did," said Yuu, weirded out by the normal tone of this conversation "it was really good," he added smiling.

"I'm glad," responded Mika.

They remained silent, looking at each other.

"Well now, it's getting late, we should get ready for bed," Mika broke the silence, "you can use the bathroom first"

"Yes, uhm thank you," said Yuu and got up from the table.

He took refuge in the bathroom. He was feeling so weird about everything Mika. He opened the sink and splashed water on his face. This needed to stop. He undressed and stepped into the shower. The cold water pouring down on his body did wonders in calming his hot skin.

When he got out, he realized that he had forgotten fresh clothes. "Fuck," he said to himself. He had to ask Mika. He wouldn't have had a problem before. Mika had seen him naked plenty of times. He wrapped the towel around his waist. He gathered his courage and shouted Mika's name. Mika came instantly knocking on the door.

"Yuu-chan, are you okay?"

"I forgot my clothes… and under…wear,"

"Ok, I'll bring you some,"

He heard Mika's footsteps moving away and getting closer at once. The door brusquely opened to reveal Mika with a pair of underwear, a t-shirt and gym shorts in his hands.

"Here,"

"Thank you," said Yuu and approached his hand to his clothes in Mika's hands. Their fingers accidentally brushed against each other's. He unwillingly flinched and looked at Mika. He hadn't noticed a thing. He took the fabrics in his hands. "Thank you, I'll get dressed now." Yuu looked at the clothes more carefully, "Mika, I think… this is your underwear,"

"I'm flattered you know how my underwear looks like,"

"Of course I know what your underwear looks like!" said Yuu, his sentence coming out a lot more passionately than he intended it to be. He cleared his throat, "Umm, can you bring me my underwear?"

"Does it bother you wearing these? I think they'll look good on you,"

"Mika…!"

In the end, he went by Mika's request, after this one's persistent pestering, and wore the underwear. Why was it so uncomfortable? In the past, he wouldn't have minded, it was just like wearing your brother's underwear, it wasn't a big deal. Why was he feeling this way now? He went out of the bathroom and looked at himself in the full-length mirror in the entrance. Mika's underwear was too tight on him and the gym shorts he gave him made nothing to hide them. He decided to ignore it. It was fine, really. He went to the bedroom, where Mika was. He didn't look at Mika but he knew. He knew that Mika was ogling him with that gaze. That gaze. Just like he had done earlier. He ignored the eyes that were scanning his body and got into bed.

"Aren't you going to take a shower?" asked Yuu, nonchalantly.

"I'm too tired, and I didn't really do anything today, so," replied Mika.

"Oh, ok," Yuu got under the sheets and turned his back to Mika. He pressed his face into his pillow to try and sleep.

"Yuu-chan, aren't you going to wish me good night?"

"Yeah, good night,"

He heard bed sheets rustling behind him and before he could wonder what was going on he felt Mika's head on his shoulder.

"Mika…!" he protested.

"What?"

"What are you trying to do?"

As a response, Mika snaked his arms around Yuu's waist. He lightly tugged on the hem of Yuu's t-shirt.

"I'm taking off your shirt," said Mika, "it's summer, it's hot"

"I don't want to-"

"Look, I'll get mine off too," he said. Mika retrieved his hands from Yuu's waist and removed his shirt, all in one swift movement. His hands then darted back where they were some seconds ago, on Yuu's waist. Yuu shuddered slightly, and wished that Mika hadn't seen it, or rather felt it. He felt Mika's bare chest on his clothed shoulder blades. He could feel Mika's chest swell up with air and his breath on his neck that made his skin pucker with goosebumps.

"I'll help you with your shirt, ok?" whispered Mika in his ear "…Yuu-chan" his voice trailed off. Yuu had to contain an embarrassing cry from escaping his lips. He lifted his hands up to his face and clasped them on his mouth. He didn't dare respond, in fear that his voice would come out weird or not come out at all.

"I'll take this as a yes," whispered Mika in Yuu's ear. Mika grabbed the hem of Yuu's t-shirt between his fingers and slowly uncovered Yuu's lower abdomen. Mika's hands felt hot against Yuu's already hot skin. As Mika was uncovering more and more of Yuu's body, Yuu could feel his face heat up. It was too hot. The weather was hot. His body felt hot. Mika's fingers were hot. Burning.

Mika smirked at the sight of Yuu's ears turning red. He felt a little bit bad for him. But this will soon be over when Yuu will realize his feelings. They were there, he was sure of it now. Yuu wouldn't have acted this way if they weren't. Maybe the manga had influenced him. A little bit. Just a little bit. The manga wouldn't have played any role if Yuu didn't harbour feelings for him to begin with. Hikari-san was right.

Mika lifted up Yuu's shirt until it reached his armpits. "Lift your arms," he whispered back in Yuu's ear. He could feel Yuu softly shiver whenever he whispered close to his ear.

Yuu obliged and tentatively removed his clasped hands from in front of his mouth and extended his arms over his head. Mika flung the t-shirt over Yuu's shoulders and head. Yuu was breathing heavily, almost panting. The rise-and-fall of his back made his muscles tense up and relax. He could feel Mika's piercing gaze on his back. The blonde boy folded the t-shirt sloppily and swayed it in front of Yuu's face. "Here, your shirt," he said in a whisper.

"Th-th…" Yuu cleared his throat, "thank y-you". The boy stopped and slowly turned his body to face Mika.

Mika smiled at him. "Now, let's sleep, you have work tomorrow." He leaned in and kissed Yuu's forehead. Just like Yuu had done to him the night before.


	3. Chapter 3 - Patience Has a Limit

Sunlight filtered through the bedroom's window as the day began. Yuu felt an odd feeling of warmth and comfort run through his body. What time was it? He hoped it was early so he could stay like this and laze around in bed some more. He didn't want to open his eyes yet. He tried to stretch out his limbs but found it unfeasible. He couldn't move but he didn't feel strained nonetheless. It felt like a dream. He yawned and fluttered his eyelids open. Where was he? He realized that this warmth and comfort he was feeling this early in the morning came from Mika. Mika was extremely close to him. In fact, he was also extremely close to Mika. He knew now why he couldn't move an inch. Mika had brought Yuu close to his chest, his arms around him, enclosing him in a tight embrace. Their legs were entangled with one another, weaved into each other. It was impossible to get away. Had he done this by mistake? Did he feel cold during the night? Yuu remembered sleeping in his side of the bed. Now he was brought over to Mika's. He was nearly on him.

It had been almost a week since the manga. This past week Mika had been acting differently. Yuu found it weird at first, but if he had to be one-hundred percent honest he would have said that it didn't bother him in the least. What Yuu was mostly scared of was that maybe he was the one acting weird, and not Mika.

Everyday, for a week, he woke up and found Mika closer to him. Maybe he was a bit more towards his side of the bed, or maybe their hands were touching. But never like this. Yuu found no way of getting out of Mika's embrace so he decided to wait out until Mika woke up. He could've woken up Mika, kick him or pinch him or punch him. But he didn't want to. Instead, he remained into Mika's warm and comfortable embrace. He was so close to Mika he was unintentionally nuzzling into his chest. Of course, they were both shirtless since it was summer. He was the one that had started it all. When he had urged himself and Mika to sleep shirtless, he had never thought that he would once regret it. Yuu's face was pressed against Mika's bare chest. It felt nice. He would never say it at loud, but it felt nice. He got lost into Mika's scent. He didn't smell like soap or perfume or anything particular, he just smelled nice. It was Mika's scent, Yuu could recognize it anywhere. Mika's chest was firm and his skin was soft. Yuu moved his fingers over his pectorals. He started tapping onto Mika's torso and feeling his muscles underneath his fingertips. He steadied his hand onto Mika's heart and felt his heartbeat. He continued drawing meaningless patters into Mika's chest, feeling how his muscles tensed up and released along with his breathing.

As his common sense was telling him that he should stop doing this, that Mika could wake up any minute now, his heart told him to continue.

Yuu couldn't see Mika's face, nestled as he was into his chest, and he didn't feel any alteration in Mika's breathing, so he assumed that he was sleeping. He hoped that he was sleeping and had felt him fondling his chest. But of course, how could Mika be asleep?

"Good morning, Yuu-chan," whispered Mika's voice.

Yuu abruptly withdrew his hands from Mika's chest, as much as he was allowed to since he couldn't put them anywhere else than in front of him. His hands were floating in the space between Mika's chest and his face. He couldn't place his hands anywhere else so he pressed them open-palmed against Mika's chest. He, again, couldn't raise his head and couldn't look at Mika. But he knew what expression he was making. He was surely smiling, not because he was mocking him, Mika would never mock Yuu, but rather because he felt amused and happy at Yuu's actions. "Good morning, Mika," said Yuu, in a faint voice.

"Did you sleep well?"

"I did…" responded Yuu, "but… why are we like this?"

"What do you mean?"

"We're hugging," stated Yuu.

"Isn't it normal to want to sleep hugging the person you like?"

"Mika, am I… the person you like?"

"Did you just realize this now?"

"No… I knew already, because… you are the person I like too," said Yuu. What was he saying? Why did saying that feel this way now? Of course Yuu liked Mika, he had told him countless times in the past. But why did it feel different now?

Mika brought Yuu closer against him. So close, Yuu couldn't have imagined that it was possible. Their bodies were flush against each other, with not an inch to spare. Mika placed a finger underneath Yuu's chin and lift his head up to meet his own. Yuu has been feeling like he was in a dream, from the very beginning. Now, he was even more confident that he was, indeed, dreaming. Maybe it was the fact that Mika was looking like an actual angel. His soft porcelain skin and his lips stretched out into a smile. His blond bangs falling over his eyebrows. Yuu focused on Mika's eyes, his blue eyes were drawing him in like a magnet. He didn't dare look away. Mika's finger drew him in closer. Yuu closed his eyes. He didn't know what to anticipate. He was feeling hot all over. He wasn't sure if it was Mika's body heat or the hot weather or himself. Finally, Mika placed a peck on Yuu's cheek.

"Just like when we were kids," he said and Yuu opened his eyes.

It is true that they kissed each other on the cheek when they were smaller, they were like brothers after all.

Mika removed his arms from around Yuu's body. "I'll make breakfast," he said and entangled his legs from Yuu's. Soon, Yuu heard the click of the bedroom door closing, and he was alone. He just wanted to scream and bang his head against the wall. He felt so confused. He felt confused at Mika. He felt confused at himself, at his feeling.

Mika had shut the door behind him, so Yuu wouldn't see him slapping himself across the face. He didn't know how long he could keep his cool attitude up. It had been a little bit more than a week and, already, he was scared of losing his patience, of scarring Yuu away. Yuu's attitude towards him had positively changed, but Yuu was still confused. He was hoping Yuu would have talked to him about it and then, he would use this opportunity to talk about his feelings and make Yuu understand. What was he supposed to do? Should he be more romantic? Or more aggressive? He didn't know what Yuu likes in this matter.

Mika set out breakfast and Yuu came out of the bedroom shortly after.

"Do you want me to feed you, again?"

"N-no, there's no need to," Yuu answered and he felt the beginning of a blush form on the base of his neck. Yuu furrowed his eyebrows, he felt his back stiff the instant he had gotten out of bed. The position he slept in surely did not help.

"Yuu-chan, what's wrong?" asked Mika, worryingly, "are you hurt somewhere?"

He really did not want to worry Mika, he nearly turned insane whenever Yuu was hurting somewhere or something had happened to him.

"I think… the position we slept in… my back feels stiff," said Yuu, he felt his body temperature grow a tad bit hotter.

"I'm sorry Yuu-chan, I couldn't help it," said Mika in an apologetic tone, "you are too cute when you're sleeping. I wanted to cuddle with you." Yuu raised his hand at Mika, to say that he understood, but also to make him stop saying embarrassing things.

"Do you want a massage?" asked Mika in a conversational tone, although there was something oddly suggestive about his offer that Yuu couldn't exactly pin down.

"Ah… no Mika, there's no need to,"

"Come one, it's the least I can do!" exclaimed Mika, "Aren't I the one at fault for sleeping with you like this?"

"I'm not hurting that bad… it's-it's okay,"

"I promise you'll feel better," said Mika. He was looking at Yuu with almost pleading eyes. He really wanted this, huh. Yuu knew that he could not refuse, no matter how much he tried. Seeing that Yuu didn't have any other argument, Mika stood up and took their plates., "Lie down on the couch, I'm coming," he said over his shoulder as he was making his way towards the kitchen. He flashed a smile in Yuu's direction and disappeared into the kitchen.

Yuu didn't have a choice but to indulge his friends request. He lied down, flat on his stomach, using his arms as a pillow, and waited for Mika. Was he supposed to remove his shirt? He didn't want Mika to get the wrong idea that he was enjoying this. Yuu heard footsteps behind him and the mattress of the couch dip down beside him. He tilted his head to the side. Mika was in his range of vision now and he saw his cheeks turning slightly pink. Did he find this embarrassing too? Even though he was the one to initiate it. Yuu kind of wanted to tease him a bit, it had been a long time since he saw Mika being flustered.

"Are you going to do it or what?" he said in a haughty tone.

Mika smirked at him and his cheeks slowly turned back to their natural complexion, "Eager, aren't we?"

Now it was Yuu's turn to blush, "I'm not eager! You're eager!" Mika raised an eyebrow at him.

"We'll see about that," he stated.

Yuu didn't know what Mika was referring to. He saw Mika stand up and soon he was out of his range of vision. Mika placed his knees on each side of Yuu's body and lowered his hips to be completely sited on top of Yuu.

"Mika-" Yuu tried to protest as soon as he felt Mika's body weight on his lower back.

His protests were deemed irrelevant as Mika didn't move from his position and soon settled comfortably on Yuu.

"If we want to do this, you better let me undress you," said Mika in a low voice over Yuu's head.

He had made a note in his head of the fact that Yuu was weak to him whispering things close to his ears. Taken out of context, this line sounded extremely lewd and they both knew that. Mika raised his hips slightly in order to grab the hem of Yuu's shirt. He placed his hands underneath Yuu's body and slid them up his chest, catching the fabric of his t-shirt with him. Mika bend down and placed his lips next to Yuu's ear.

"Lift your arms," he whispered.

He felt Yuu flinch under him and soon a light blush fell over his ears.

"I-I know already!" he yelled and lift his arms to allow Mika the access to remove his t-shirt completely. Mika dragged the t-shirt over Yuu's armpits but stopped before passing the t-shirt's neck over Yuu's head. Yuu, with his arms raised, was trapped inside his own t-shirt. Mika started laughing behind him. Originally, he had just wanted to tease Yuu a little but the image in front of him was way to funny.

"Mika! What did you do!" screamed Yuu, "free me right this instant!"

"Yuu-chan, ah… ah Yuu-chan, you should see yourself," said Mika between laughs.

Yuu grumbled under his breath, "Mika!"

Mika continued laughing his heart out as if he had heard the funniest joke in the world. Yuu knew that there was no way of getting out of this so he opted for the technique that would make Mika want to release him immediately.

He started fake-sobbing into the couch, "M-Mika… you're so mean to me…"

Mika ceased his laughter and removed Mika's shirt from his head, all in a split second.

"I'm so sorry, Yuu-chan… I hadn't realized that it bothered you that much," said Mika. He sounded and probably looked, Yuu couldn't tell face-down on the couch as he was, genuinely hurt.

"You should give me the best massage I've ever had, to make up for it," said Yuu with a triumphant grin although Mika couldn't see it.

"Oh, that I will," responded Mika.

As soon as he said that, he pressed the heels of his his hands on Yuu's unclothed shoulder blades and started drawing narrow circles. Soon, Yuu relaxed under Mika's touch and crossed his arms under his head.

Mika leaned over Yuu to get to his ear, once again, "Is it good like that?" he whispered.

Yuu, taken aback, shuddered and his body quickly stiffened by fear that Mika had felt it. Although it was impossible that Mika had not felt it, positioned as he was. Mika continued kneading at the muscles of Yuu's back. Mika had been an expert in controlling his blushing and keeping a cool and smug façade, but sometimes he could not control some natural reactions from happening. After all, it was to be expected. The person he liked was under his touches, and not to mention that Mika had started feeling hot all over already whenever he was as much as grazing Yuu's skin. It was inevitable. Mika shifted in his position, trying to minimize friction between the front of his pants and Yuu's back as he continued pressing meaningless patterns onto Yuu's back. Yuu hadn't said anything for a while now, and Mika was too focused in performing his task well to notice. He lifted his head, his hair falling over his eyes. He pushed them aside and saw that Yuu's ears were red. He was being affected by this too. Mika couldn't help but feel happy about it. He had waited for so long. He couldn't wait any longer. He couldn't wait any longer to kiss him, and make him smile and do all sorts of things with him.

Yuu calling his name drew him out of his reverie, "Mika… you've been in this place for a long time now," he said softly, "it's starting to hurt."

"Do you want me to go lower?" said Mika, and that sentence felt very suggestive, even to Yuu.

"Yes," he replied bluntly. It was easy to control his stutter if using one-word sentences only.

Mika placed his hands on the small of Yuu's back and used them as leverage to lift himself up and land back down on Yuu's behind. Yuu let out a small sigh at the new weight on him. Mika gently traced the outline of Yuu's jean-wearing hips with his fingers, as much as he could as his thighs were blocking the way. He then took the fabric of his pants' waistband between his fingers.

"What are you doing?"

"I just need to lower your pants a little," explained Mika, "I need to reach your whole back."

"My jeans only cover my ass," said Yuu, "except if you wanna touch my ass, I don't see why you should mess with my jeans!"

"Maybe I want to," said Mika, he paused and lowered himself to rest his head on Yuu's shoulder before adding, "touch your ass."

"You're a dumbass!" yelled Yuu and bent his knee in the air to kick Mika. His heel hit Mika right in his lower back.

"Hey, that hurt, Yuu-chan!" Mika yelled back at Yuu.

He was going to get mad at him, but then he noticed the red colour on Yuu's cheeks. "Mhm… Yuu-chan," he started, in a wondering tone, "do you maybe want me to-"

"You're the one talking," retorted Yuu, "when I've been feeling your boner on me for the past twenty minutes!"

Mika froze. Yuu had noticed it. Obviously, he had. Mika leaned back.

"Do- do you want to continue?" Mika's voice trembled.

Mika's top priority had been to not scare Yuu and drive him away. He didn't want Yuu to think that he was a pervert and that he always saw him in that way. He felt as if he had gone back to the beginning. To the beginning, when he was too shy and too scared to try anything. When he was so scared to make Yuu his.

Yuu heard the distress in Mika's voice, he felt the urge to reassure him. He wasn't that angry as he appeared to be, he was mostly confused and he had a lot of unsolved queries regarding himself, and Mika, and his relationship with Mika.

"Hey, Mika," he hesitated, "it's okay, it… happens I guess," he paused for a moment, trying to gauge Mika's reactions but there were none, "we can stop for now… if you want. My back doesn't hurt anymore… thanks to you."

Mika got off from Yuu without a word.

"I'm sorry, I need to use the bathroom… I-" he cut himself mid-sentence, realizing that it was unnecessary and awkward to elaborate on what he would use the bathroom for.

Yuu watched as Mika walked uncomfortably from the living room to the bathroom. Yuu remained alone sited on the couch. He let his head fall between his legs. 'Ugh, why must things be like this,' he thought. He had felt so complicated this past week. He couldn't discern between what he liked and what he hated anymore. He would say, to himself and to anyone if they ever asked him, that he hated Mika acting that way towards him, making him feel all shy and flustered. But deep down, he knew that it was all a lie. He actually liked Mika's touches and felt pleasant shivers run through his spine whenever Mika was whispering indecent things in his ear. He wouldn't have it any other way. How was he supposed to admit all these things? He had found it hard to admit it to himself. He could not talk about it with Mika.

He felt bad. He felt bad because he felt like he was hurting Mika. He knew Mika like the back of his hand, but at the same time, he realized that he didn't know him at all. He didn't know what he was hiding in the deepest corners of his mind. He felt like he should apologize, even though he wasn't exactly sure why.

The bathroom door creaked open and Yuu run blindly towards it. He practically fell on Mika in his attempt to hug him. He caught himself onto Yuu's shirt and then snaked his arms around his neck.

"I'm sorry, Mika, I was mean to you. I'm not angry at you. Sometimes I just blurt out things without thinking of the consequences. I'm not angry at you."

Mika froze into Yuu's hug. Yuu was hugging him right after he had finished jacking off thinking of him.

"Yuu-chan… this is really not the time to be hugging me."

To Mika's huge relief but also wonder, Yuu wasn't grossed out at him. Had he even realized what had happened? Mika did not have any other alternative but to hug Yuu back, as he did not want to sit there like a dead board.

A week passed after this incident. Mika had quickly forgotten about it, to the success of his mission. Weirdly enough, Yuu had become more pliant towards him. He had really felt that they were moving on the right tracks. But now, their situation had remained stagnant. Every situation more suggestive than the other, and yet, Yuu hadn't felt the need to talk about it or take any kind of action. Mika was the patient type. But this was taking it too far even for him.

It was the afternoon, a Sunday afternoon, and Yuu had to go to work.

"Mika! I'm leaving in a bit-" shouted Yuu from the entrance, he stopped mid-sentence.

Mika was sporting an extremely serious face, one that he hadn't seen for a long time,

"Mika-"

"We need to talk" stated Mika.

Yuu was expecting this moment, really. He wasn't dumb, he had understood that something was going on. He was known for facing situations head-on and not regretting anything. But this time, he froze in his tracks. He couldn't move and Mika was already walking towards him from behind.

"I- I have to… leave," he muttered and made a move to put on his shoes.

But Mika was quicker and swiftly grabbed his wrist to prevent him from taking another step. What was done was done. He had called out to him. As much as he was scared to face his feelings, to face Yuu, he had to do it.

"Please… just a little bit," he uttered.

He made Yuu turn around to face him. He was facing him but he couldn't catch his eyes with his own.

"It's important," he said in a small voice. A voice that sounded almost like a plea.

Yuu felt words pool out in his throat. He didn't want to scream at Mika, he didn't want to make him sad. But his fear was stronger than him.

"I don't think there is something worth talking about!" he said angrily.

He wanted to quickly shut his mouth up to not say any more stupid things he didn't mean an ounce of. But it was too late, it was already too late as soon as he had expressed those words. Mika's face darkened. He gripped Yuu's wrist tighter.

"There is nothing worth talking about?" he half-asked, half-stated in a calm voice.

His calm voice made Yuu worry even more. He saw his loved one feeling hurt right in front of him. And what's worse, it was all because of him. And there was nothing he could do. In reality there were a lot of things he could do. He could hug Mika and tell him what he felt honestly. But it scared him. They remained silent for a while. It could have been just a few seconds, but it felt like hours. Mika threw Yuu backwards, so that his back was pressed against the wall and his wrist pinned over his head.

"Have you not realized my feelings for you yet?" he said panting, "or are you just messing with me? I don't understand you, Yuu!"

Yuu felt as if his worst fear had materialized right in front of his eyes, the thing he was so scared of, these two weeks. He wasn't scared of Mika nor of the feelings he harboured for him. He was scared of himself. He was scared of feeling this way towards him. He was scared of not being able to express his feelings properly.

He looked up at Mika's face. They were so close. He felt the situation oddly comforting even thought there was tension. Caged between the wall and Mika, he felt oddly relaxed. He felt as if he was meant to be there. The mood changed between them. Mika had a more peaceful expression on. They gazed into each other's eyes, and they saw all the unspoken things. Mika leaned in. Yuu, with his head pressed against the wall, couldn't move; he couldn't avoid him. But he didn't want to move, he didn't want to avoid him. He didn't feel this urge to run away and scream at him and hit him, or curl up into himself. Mika leaned in even more, so close their noses were nearly touching. Yuu closed his eyes. He didn't have a reason to, he just did. It felt like the right thing to do. He waited. For what? He didn't have an answer. Among all this confusion in his head, he knew for a fact, that he did not want to back away now. He saw Mika's shadow getting closer and closer. He felt Mika's breath ghost over his lips. He felt Mika's fingers unwrap slowly from around his wrist and his arms fell to his sides.

When he reopened his eyes, Mika was gone.


	4. Chapter 4 - Blindness and Jealousy

Mika slammed the door behind him. Without looking back, he just run. He run until his knees gave in. And he couldn't run away anymore. Panting heavily, he stopped and put his hands on his knees. He couldn't bring himself to catch his breath. He looked around him. He had no idea where he was. Trees. A playground. A river. It was a park. The world was spinning around him. It was too loud, for no particular reason other than the frantic beating of his heart resonating inside the whole of his body. He could feel his heart beat and his blood rushing all the way up to his temples. So loud. He tumbled on the first bench he saw. There was a vending machine right across from it. He got up, almost tripping over himself. Something, anything to calm his nerves down. He spotted beer. Mika didn't drink. Although he had tried it once as a joke with Yuu when they were teenagers. They had been scolded severely by the orphanage staff and were punished for a week. Mika's heart stung at this memory. He fished for some loose change in the back pocket of his jeans and inserted a coin into the slit. The machine rumbled and a can of beer fell through the opening.

They had made so many great memories together. In fact, all of their memories, good and bad, had been made together. Yuu was on his side when he had fallen off a swing and broke his kneecap, he was there when Mika had lost his first tooth, he was there when he had been scolded by a teacher for passing notes to him during class. Yuu was the reason why Mika began to smile again after his parents abandoned him. With no clear path in his life, no idea what his future would look like, he had found purpose; someone to love and protect. He remembered the very first day, the day he had met him. A small boy with a feisty attitude that didn't like anyone showing him affection. He was like a lost puppy, scared of humans, showing his teeth, growling, glaring and biting whenever someone approached him. Mika had taken him by the hand. And after many years of relentless trying over and over again, he had shown him what it meant to be part of a family. He had made Yuu feel that he was loved, that he had a family again. A family that would love him and protect him unconditionally.

Then Mika had to ruin all of this by stupidly falling in love with him.

The earlier events came back to Mika's mind, like a dream remembered in the middle of the day, as he sat back down on the bench.

It was a mistake. A big stupid mistake. He had ruined everything. He wanted to bang his head against a wall. Unfortunately for him, there were no walls nearby where he could do that. In that moment, when he pinned Yuu down against the wall, Yuu being so close to him and so defenceless, he had lost all his restrains. Walls broke down, shackles unlocked. Suddenly, there were no 'if's, no questions, no worries. He knew what he had to do. He got lost into Yuu's eyes, they were so pretty. He looked so tempting. He was going to do it.

But abruptly, something in him changed. He saw Yuu's expression. He saw how he was looking at him. He saw the confusion and scare in him. He saw himself into his eyes. He saw how he squeezed his eyes shut to not have to look at Mika. He was not ready.

In this kind of situation, he would have expected Yuu to kick him in the legs and run away and scream at him and remind him of how much of an idiot he was, and tell him to stop joking around. But he didn't do any of those things. He remained still. Maybe Mika had scared him so much, he got paralysed by fear.

Mika took a sip of the beer and cringed at the bitter taste. He hated it but it really did a fine job in calming him. His brain started to haze which was slowly making him feel drowsy. The sun was starting to set. Mika looked up, his head hanging from the back of the bench he was sitting on. Sunsets in the summer really were beautiful. The sky was now painted in beautiful tints of orange and pink, mixing and swirling around each other. He wished he could look at this work of art with Yuu. Was he also looking at it right now?

A cool gush of wind made the leaves of the trees lining the pavement rustle in the air. He knew he had to return soon. But, how could he? How could he face Yuu now? Look him in the eyes? Yuu knew. He knew. Mika obviously wanted him to know, but not like this. It was not supposed to go like this. Their first kiss had almost been a disaster. He was glad he hadn't actually kissed him.

He felt the familiar feeling of a lump starting to form down his throat and his eyes starting to water. He wanted to cry. He felt like such a crybaby. He had cried for Yuu so many times, it was starting to get ridiculous.

"Yuu-chan…" he whispered.

Passers-by probably thought he was crazy; a man of his age crying alone in a park.

How things could change in a split second. When he was supposed to be enjoying a meal with Yuu, looking at the sunset, laughing and having a good time. How much things had changed from the time he thought that he could be with him. It was quite funny how he didn't even consider the prospect of them not being together; of Yuu not loving him back. The only thing he was sure of anymore, in this chaos that was his mind, was that his own love will never die down. Today, this fact seemed more like a curse rather than a blessing.

It was all his fault. He shouldn't have fallen in love with him in the first place. If he could, if he was not in the middle of pitying over his state, he would have laughed at himself.

Mika stayed in the park for a long time. The sun had completely died down and had taken with it the beautiful colours that he had seen earlier. The sky had now been replaced by the pitch black of the night. He couldn't see the stars as he was in the city. The only lights he could see were the street lights and occasional car lights shinning on him whenever they were turning the corner of the street on the other side of the fences of the park. 'Yuu must have finished work,' he thought. He imagined Yuu surrounded by flowers and smiles. What clothes did he wear when he was in the shop? Did he have to wear a uniform with a name tag, or an apron? Mika was surprised that he didn't know; he hadn't even cared to ask. He realized that he hadn't been interested in anything else other than him; Yuu, as a being, as the object of his wildest desires. The only thing on his mind was to acquire that object. He was blinded by his love for him and the lifetime goal of making him his. He had never thought that his genuine love could one day backlash.

Maybe Yuu was better off without him. Somebody like himself. He didn't even once take into account Yuu's feelings. He supposed that Yuu's feelings could only have two extremes; he loved him or he hated him. Maybe Yuu did not want this kind of relationship or any other kind of relationship. He felt ashamed for forcing things on him. He hadn't treated him well enough. His stance as a human being was really appalling.

If he returned now, would Yuu be there? Or was Yuu still on the way home? He had completely lost track of time. And he had forgotten his phone during his wild rush out of the apartment. He didn't know when he should return. He was feeling reluctant about seeing him now.

Nonetheless, his feet dragged him back to their apartment, more by a sense of duty than by his own will.

He keyed the door open and kicked his shoes off slowly, taking as much time as he could. He stayed stood in the entrance for a moment. The apartment was silent. A feeling of worry passed through him, like a shiver. Mika looked at the clock; it showed midnight. Yuu, where was he? His gaze roamed around the house before he entered the kitchen. The sink had one more plate inside it. So, he had been here, and he had eaten. Mika spotted his phone on the table, next to Yuu's. One message. It was from him.

'Where are you?' it read.

Mika couldn't discern from the text message if Yuu was angry at him, or worried, or was being cold towards him.

He went to the bedroom and saw Yuu sleeping in their bed. He must've been sleeping for a long time because he seemed like he was deep in sleep; his torso was moving up and down at a slow steady pace. His mind was feeling a little clouded from the alcohol. He plopped down on the bed and turned his back to Yuu.

The next morning, he woke up and Yuu wasn't beside him. It was noon already, Mika had slept all morning. He got on his feet and wobbled around the empty apartment. His head hurt like hell, it felt like a hammer was pounding on his skull. He went to take a glass of water and gulped it down in one go. He returned back to the living room. Despite the bright, summery weather, the apartment felt grim. It felt empty and unpleasant to him. He stayed there uncomfortably a bitter taste in his mouth, wondering of what he could do next. He picked up some dust on the coffee table. He decided that he had to clean and make food. He spent the whole of the rest of his day cleaning the apartment, vacuuming, moping, he even cleaned the windows. He made food and wrapped it in transparent film for Yuu to eat later when he came back.

The front door's lock clicked. Mika went outside the kitchen, still wearing his apron, and into the entrance area. There he was. He hadn't seen him for a day. He watched him remove his shoes and hang his jacket. When Yuu turned around, he looked oddly surprised to find him where he was standing.

"Did you decide to come home?" he said, and his expression instantly changed in one of arrogance and distaste.

Mika stayed mute.

"Well… you shouldn't had run off like that," he added.

"I made food," said Mika.

"I'll eat later, I'm tired," Yuu replied, "but thank you."

Mika nodded and Yuu disappeared into the bedroom, closing the door behind him.

He really did not mind doing the house chores and cooking. He loved cooking, especially when it meant that he got to see Yuu's happy face when eating his food. If Yuu wasn't the one eating his food, it wouldn't make any sense anymore.

The next day, and the day after that nothing much changed. They kept exchanging few words and sharing a bed. Sharing. They weren't actually sharing, were they? They were just using it at the same time, by obligation. This obligation had become extremely hard for Mika to fulfil. Naturally, he had been incredibly happy about the fact that he could share a bed with the person he loved and desired the most. But now, he couldn't stand sleeping with Yuu. Painful images of all the things they could do if they were together, constantly on his mind.

Even so, he couldn't stand being without Yuu, alone between four walls, not doing anything, just him and his destructive thoughts. He missed him. unable

He had to do something to get his mind and body out of this vicious circle of sadness and pain. He couldn't continue doing the chores and cooking every single day for the rest of his life. He had to do something else, to distract him. A job would be perfect. He found out that fast food chain workers didn't have to have a superior education. He went around the city looking for open spots for him to work in. He had to spend half his money on transportation, so he hoped that this trip would be worth it. It was so stressful and foreign to be on his own in the big city. Under normal circumstances and if Mika hadn't fucked everything up, Yuu would have been with him. Anything could be possible if he had Yuu by his side. With Yuu, he could find happiness in the most hostile of jungles, or in the most destitute of cities.

He went home after a full day of subways and talking to employers.

He stepped into the apartment and found Yuu was waiting for him, right in front of the entrance. Yuu was looking at him intently as if he was expecting him to say something, a something that would be of extreme importance. Mika hoped that Yuu would be the one to say something first. But he didn't. And he himself didn't, as well.

"I found a job," he declared after a while.

"Oh," said Yuu, "did you?"

"Yes,"

Yuu nodded. "You didn't cook today,"

"I didn't," said Mika, "Are you hungry?"

Yuu was, extremely, hungry. And he missed Mika's cooking, so much. It had been so long.

"Not really," said Yuu, "no."

Mika felt even more heartbroken hearing Yuu's words. Even though he was extremely tired and his feet felt like jelly, and all he wanted to do was to lay down on the bed and sleep till noon of the next day, he wouldn't have minded cooking something for Yuu. Mika passed by him and took refuge in the bedroom to change his clothes. Yuu came soon after, having changed his clothes in the bathroom. They turned off the lights and got into bed. They were both laying on their backs looking at the ceiling. He felt Yuu move beside him. He couldn't bring himself to look in his direction. Yuu cleared his throat audibly, which startled Mika.

"Good night," he said.

Yuu was standing in front of the entrance door with his arms crossed. If they were in a movie, he would have been tapping his foot furiously on the doormat. This was the fifth consecutive night Mika was not home when he returned from work. And the worst of all was that Yuu didn't even know where he was. Mika hadn't said a word to him, or given him any hint on where he could be. What could he possibly be doing outside at this late hour on a Thursday? He had had enough of this situation. When he was home, Mika was at work or out doing things Yuu had no idea about. When Mika was home, he had to be at work. It was like he was doing it one purpose to avoid him. They hadn't been able to see each other for more than ten seconds a day, let alone talk. It annoyed Yuu when Mika was outside other than because of work. He felt the urge to just lock him up to prevent him from doing this ever again. He knew that Mika had found a job, yes, but he was sure that he wasn't working until this late at night. He didn't know what kind of work he had but, it didn't matter, he knew that he wasn't out working. He was sure his tardiness wasn't related to work matters.

He waited. He thought of calling him and giving him an earful to urge him to come home, but he quickly withdrew this plan as he did not want to seem desperate. It wasn't like they were a married couple, or a couple at all, and Yuu was suspicious of Mika cheating on him. Mika could go out without any explanation and return whenever he felt like it. He could stay out at all night for all he cared. He could even sleep at a cute girl's house if he wanted. His blood boiled at this thought, even though he knew that Mika would never do such a thing. He didn't have any lead on where Mika could be. His brain couldn't help but draw up wild scenarios.

Unexpectedly, he heard ruffling behind the door. Mika. In a flash, he went to grab the doorknob and pull on it. He looked at the person standing on the other side of the threshold.

"Yuu-chan…" said Mika in a barely audible voice. He raised his gaze to look at Yuu. His eyes were red and puffy, his eyeballs watery.

Mika tried taking a step forward and almost fell in the process. Yuu caught him instinctively, right in time before he hit the ground. He grabbed the underside of his arms to lift him up and helped him inside the apartment. He hadn't felt him against his skin in a long time.

"Yuu-chan…" repeated Mika.

Yuu steadied Mika on his feet, in front of him so that he could look at him properly. He didn't let go of him, for the simple reason that he could fall down any second, but also because Yuu hadn't felt him in a long time and he was feeling needy. Mika's head dropped on Yuu's shoulder and this action was enough for Yuu to catch a whiff of the scent of alcohol on Mika's breath.

"You reek of alcohol," he said.

Mika breathed slowly against Yuu's neck, which made his skin pucker with goosebumps.

"What were you doing?"

Mika sighed. Yuu wanted answers and he was getting impatient.

"With who were you with?"

"I wasn't…" he slurred.

Yuu felt anger and a feeling that he had hardly ever felt before rush through him. He couldn't pin down exactly what it was. He was just so angry at Mika, he wanted to slap him. How dare he leave him all alone, while he was out drinking god-knows-where with god-knows-who and having fun?

He pulled Mika towards the bedroom and threw him on the bed. He went into the kitchen to get him a glass of water. He came back stomping into the room. He sat on the bed next to Mika and grabbed the back of his head rather forcefully. He then brought the clear glass to Mika's lips and made him drink the water. The situation was certainly ironic. He was nursing him even though he was insanely angry at him. This were the things Mika did to him.

"You need to sleep," said Yuu.

"Yuu-chan," said Mika and extended his arm towards him.

He caressed the side of Yuu's face with the back of his hand. Instead of slapping his hand off, Yuu let him touch him. Gazing into each other's eyes, Yuu felt a comfortable feeling settle deep inside him. He couldn't help but notice a glimmer of sadness in Mika's blue eyes. He had brushed it off at first. But there was no doubt. He was sad. His eyes were still red and wet. Maybe he hadn't had fun after all. He looked like he had just cried. Yuu had rarely seen Mika like this before. The last time he had seen his eyes like this was when Mika had fallen off a swing and broke his knee in the orphanage's playground. He had cried a lot this day. Yuu had cried a lot that day too when he saw that Mika had been injured. Mika's soft hand brought back some sense into Yuu. He was thinking more rationally now.

"I don't deserve you," mumbled Mika after a while.

Yuu lightly stroked the hand that was resting on the side of his cheek. It felt warm.

"You really don't," he said. Mika's head dropped to the side and his eyelids fell shut. Yuu squeezed the hand that was still against his cheek before placing it back to Mika's side to let him rest.

Yuu did not deserve someone like him. Mika was showing him his love every day. He had done this from the very beginning, from the very first day. And Yuu hadn't been able to give this love back to him. He didn't care anymore if what he was feeling was friendly love, or brotherly love, or romantic love. He just knew that he wanted to cherish Mika as much as Mika cherished him. He should have known better; that Mika would never leave him alone, or do anything to make him even the slightest of upset. Leaving him alone and upsetting him, Mika would never do it on purpose. But still, unanswered questions were resting in his mind. Why did Mika not want to talk to see him? Why did he stay out at night? He felt awful for having succeeded in feeling anger and jealousy towards such a loving person like Mika. Mika deserves better than this.

One morning, the alarm clock ringed bitterly in their ears. Yuu grunted and threw his pillow over his head.

"Sorry," whispered Mika.

It was his alarm clock for work. He hadn't had the chance to tell Mika that he had to wake up early even on Sundays since they barely talked with each other. Yuu sat up on the bed, his head dishevelled, an annoyed expression painted on his face. He looked at Mika in his quest for answers.

"I have work,"

Yuu looked at him. He seemed really angry.

"Where is it?" he said, his voice raspy from sleep.

"Shinjuku,"

Yuu breathed out audibly from his nose. "Shinjuku," he repeated, "are businesses in Shinjuku open this early in the morning?"

"Ah, it's not a nightclub," said Mika, "it's a fast food restaurant."

"Which one?"

"McDonald's,"

"Ok," he said finally and plopped back down on the bed, his back facing Mika.

Mika said that he had to leave early to take the subway and as a consequence Yuu was left alone in the empty apartment. As soon as he heard the sound of the door being shut, Yuu made an animalistic sound and threw his pillow violently across the room.

Two days ago, he had been angry at Mika for pulling a stunt on him by returning home drunk at night. He had decided to not get angry with him anymore, not say anything about it. He wanted to cut Mika some slack and leave him do whatever he wanted to do. It was the least he could do for him; allowing him to enjoy his life.

But no, he was unable to do this. He simply was not that kind of person. He desperately wanted to know where he was, who he was with, who he talked with at work, if there were any cute girls flirting with him.

He fumed in anger, curled up on the couch, an uninteresting show playing on the TV. He didn't know what to do with himself but wait until Mika came back home. He had this fear in him that Mika would not come back, even though he knew very well that it was ridiculous. He finally heard the familiar sound of keys entering a lock. He didn't go to greet Mika, but he could see him from where he was positioned on the couch. He saw him struggling to get something through the door. It looked like a mattress.

"Mika, what is this?" he said as he got up.

Mika raised his head, a foot still on the other side of the door.

"I bought a futon," he said simply.

Yuu felt a weird sense of distraught at Mika's phrase. So many questions formed on the tip of his tongue. He didn't understand why. Yuu approached him warily.

"Why?" he asked.

"Well, I-" uttered Mika.

He didn't know how to continue, what to say to Yuu. The reasons why he didn't want to sleep with him anymore, could he tell him? How his heart was beating fast every night when Yuu was so close to him and looked so pretty, how he couldn't sleep because of him, how much he felt hurt because of him.

"It's better that way, don't you think?" he managed to say. Yuu didn't respond, he just looked at him with a weird expression, that he wasn't used to seeing on him. "Us… sleeping together, it was temporary, wasn't it?"

"It was," Yuu responded bitterly. He turned his back to him and sat back down on the couch.

Mika didn't know what to do. He could see that Yuu was upset, he could feel it even. Yuu wasn't the type of letting his emotions, other than anger and happiness, show. But he had felt it. Yuu wouldn't tell him why he was so upset. He had bought the futon with his first pay. He thought that he had done the right thing, for himself but also for Yuu. He felt like Yuu had wanted it to. How was he supposed to know Yuu's feelings if Yuu wouldn't talk to him, and if he himself was too scared to ask him anything? It could only take one single question and everything could be solved in a matter of seconds. Mika needed this to know if his future will contain Yuu in it or not.

The night was cold. Yuu shivered in the vacant bed. He felt cold even though it was already July. He ought to be happy, he had the whole bed to himself now. But he felt a weird burden weight on his heart. He twisted around, trying to find a comfortable position to sleep in. In the moonlight-lit room, his eyes landed on Mika's pillow, a few centimetres away from him. Without thinking, he started caressing the soft white material and brought it closer to himself. He buried his face in it. It still smelt like Mika. Mika's smell sent tingle to his stomach and he felt his face heat up shortly after. He imagined Mika resting his head on this very pillow he had clutched in his fists. How his blond hair would spread out on it. He wanted him to be here with him so badly. Instead, Mika was down on the floor, on a cheap futon. He desperately wanted to tell him that he could come and sleep on the bed with him, that he wanted him to come sleep on the bed with him. There were a lot of things he wanted to tell him but just couldn't bring himself to. He just didn't know how to say them. He had never ever felt anything like this before. He hated Mika for making him miss him even though he was right there, only a few meters away from him.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder, that saying was certainly true know.

His feelings, he knew them now.


	5. Chapter 5 - Lies and Truths

Sorry for the late update. Enjoy!

* * *

"Where are you going?" sounded Yuu's angry voice behind him while he was getting ready to step out their apartment's door.

"I have work, didn't I tell you?" responded Mika.

"They don't make you work every day 'till midnight, or do they?" said Yuu, stressing the last part of his sentence as if trying to make a point. He really did not feel the need to conceal his bitter tone.

"They…" Mika paused mid-sentence, looking for his words.

Mika had never once lied to Yuu. However, in this moment he couldn't admit the truth. He cleared his throat in order to avoid stuttering and looked straight into Yuu's eyes. After not more than a split-second, he found it impossible to do so and diverted his gaze to the floor beneath them.

"They do, actually, I have to stay there late and clean up stuff," he said to the floor, sounding unconvincing even to himself.

Yuu raised an eyebrow at him. His eyes wandered on Mika's face. Yuu was squinting his eyes, looking at Mika, trying to find the trace of a lie. He wished Mika would take back what he had just said and admit that he had lied. Yuu had thought that they couldn't get any worse than how they were, but now Mika had lied to him, straight to his face; although he was still refusing to look at him straight in the face and preferred to contemplate the ground instead, a detail that made Yuu's heart sting both in anger and pain.

"I get it," said Yuu, being hyperaware that he sounded like a sulking teenage girl.

He turned around on his heels and walked out on Mika.

A few minutes later, he heard the door closing shut. He buried his face in the mattress of the bed that he was now the single owner of. This situation had dragged on for way too long. He was feeling an awful mixture of anger, jealousy, sadness, pain and loss. All the time. After so much struggle, Yuu had been finally overpowered by his feelings, brought to his knees, not able to fight back any longer. His eyes started stinging, tears would escape any second now. He quickly wiped out the water from his eyes and gulped down the sobs that were threatening to escape his throat, before it was too late and they overflowed. This wasn't like him, at all. He couldn't recognize himself anymore. He not only had lost the most important person in his life, but also himself. And for what? Yuu couldn't formulate a clear answer. But he knew that it was a dumb reason.

Yuu turned his head to the side and faced the window, a weak breeze making the curtains flutter. He stayed motionless, laying on his stomach, clenching Mika's pillow with his fist. People were walking on the tree-lined street in front of their house; children going to school, people going to work. Mika must still be on his way to the subway station.

The glimpse of a thought jolted him, like he had just been struck by lightning. He detached himself from the bed where he was stuck to like a slug, went to grab his keys and phone and stormed out the door, not caring to lock behind him. He didn't have time to think this through, as the only target in his mind was to catch up to Mika as fast as humanly possible. He sprinted down the street and soon enough, saw the entrance of the subway. He jumped down the flight of stairs leading to the undergrounds, almost tripping over his feet and falling head first on the concrete. He didn't have time to be injuring himself now, more important things had to be done. He followed the signs indicating the lane that led to Shinjuku, zigzagging between the people walking down the hallways of the underground station; not without eliciting some angry complains here and there, from the grandpas and grandmas that were walking way too slow for Yuu's convenience.

To his relief, he succeeded in arriving to the platform before the train did. He anxiously looked around him, in search for the person he desired the most right now. The platform was so crowed, he barely managed to squeeze through the innumerable people, without getting his toes crushed by stilettos. He went on his tiptoes, trying to reach a higher point of view, scrutinizing the people around him until realizing that none of them were Mika. He had managed to walk along the whole platform's length, but no luck. Mika was always bragging to him about his height and yet, it didn't facilitate Yuu's task. Had he gone to the wrong platform? This couldn't be happening. The announcement of a train arriving sounded from the loudspeakers. 'Train for Harajuku approaching lane 6, please stay behind the yellow line-' Yuu didn't hear the rest of the routine announcement because he spotted a head of blond hair entering a train wagon. He pushed through the crowd, excusing himself as he did so. He managed to enter the wagon right in time, before the automatic doors closed behind him. He saw Mika standing in the corner of the wagon. Yuu concealed himself between a woman and her baby and an office worker. He bent forward to look at Mika. He was looking gloomily at the tip of his shoes. Yuu straightened himself up, putting himself out of Mika's range of vision. Should he go up to him now? Mika will certainly be surprised. Yuu took a bunch of deep breaths to bring his heartbeat back to normal. It had already been five minutes since the train had departed. It would be weird if he came out of his hideout now. Not only that, he didn't even know what he wanted to tell him. He didn't know how to put his feeling into words and coherent sentences. And the environment didn't help. Who had such talks on a train? He couldn't talk to him on a moving train. At this point, all these problems seemed like excuses to not go talk to him and acknowledge his feelings, he would be the first to say it about himself. He was once again lying to himself. 'No, Yuu don't chicken out now!' he said to himself, his hands drawn into a fist. He had gone up to this point already. There was just one tiny little step to take, and everything would be solved. This tiny little step seemed like the hardest step he had to take in his life. Okay. He took deep breaths once again. He was going to do it. He had to do it. Even though he didn't know what he was supposed to say, nor what he was going to end up spurting out say he had planned a speech, once in front of Mika. He took a step forward, getting ready to walk towards him, or more like manage somehow to seep through all the people standing in his way.

The screeching sound of wheels struggling to stop on train tracks sounded and the train came to a halt almost knocking Yuu out of his feet. The familiar female voice of the announcement spoke through the loudspeakers for a second time. 'Shinjuku station, Shinjuku station. The doors will open on the right.'

Mika was out of Yuu's vision yet again. Yuu dashed out of the train, and into the sea of people, that was even more dense than before. He instantly spotted Mika, due to his light blond hair, unique only to him. He followed his path, trailing a few meters behind to not be seen, but also because of all the people walking in front of him and preventing him from getting closer.

He was actually glad the station was this packed. He was inexplicably scared to be seen by Mika. He will maybe get mad or weirded out. Really, what was he doing? Stalking him? He should just go behind him, grab him, force him to stop and tell him pour his heart out. But his brain wouldn't let him do that. Yuu was so unconfident in this moment, it was nothing like him. He walked behind Mika, until they got back up to ground level and arrived at the McDonald's, a few meters away from the station. So, this is where he was working. The building was bright and colorful with big lettering. Mika circled the building, with Yuu trailing a few meters behind him, and disappeared inside. Yuu couldn't go in since it was an "Employees Only" area.

Yuu stayed a few steps away from the door. Realization hit him. He had missed his chance. What could he do now? He didn't want to go back home, and accept defeat. He could surely find another opportunity today, if he tried hard enough. A bench was standing right across from the fast food restaurant. From here, he could see anyone entering or leaving the grey "Employees Only" door. He would stay on this bench until Mika had finished his shift. He didn't have anything better to do at home, anyways. Instead of waiting for Mika all by himself in the lonely and cold apartment, he would wait for him here, in the company of strangers walking past him, stray cats and pigeons. He wasn't a stalker.

Perfect. Just as planned. This would give him the opportunity to think about what he could say to Mika. He had more than enough time to do so. He would find a way to put into words just how much he meant to him. It certainly wasn't that hard.

Yuu's eyes threatened to close. He had trouble making his head stay on top of his shoulders and not falling on the bench to take a nap. He had been sitting for, he didn't even know how many hours. His legs and behind felt sore. He got up and walked a few strides, taking care not to leave the metallic door from sight. It was hard to believe that he had stayed here for almost a whole day. Mika really was special. No other person could make him like this.

The street lights had lit up, now that the day was slowly leaving. Mika must be tired, working non-stop all those hours. Should he wait for him here? Or right in front of the door? Or would it be better to make their meeting seem accidental? Yuu didn't know what to do with himself. He was standing awkwardly in the middle of the street, shifting his weight from foot to foot, balancing back and forth. He couldn't decide if he wanted to take a step forward or backwards. Too late. He heard the door creak open. He instantly turned his back to Mika, praying that he wouldn't notice him.

Yuu didn't want to make it seem like he was invading Mika's privacy. They had decided to keep their distances. 'They'? No, Mika had decided this on his own. Yuu did not want to keep any distance between them, one bit. He shook his head to put some sense back into his mind. This was not the time to get angry. The reason why he felt like this was because he hadn't talked to Mika and clarified things between them. Everything will turn out okay in the end. 'You can do it! You can do it!' he repeated over and over in his head.

He turned around and walked confidently towards the restaurant's back door. He started to lower his speed when he realized that Mika had vanished. 'You stupid!' he said to himself. He gave himself a slap on the cheek, obtaining a few whispers from concerned bystanders. He started running towards Mika, that had already started making his way to the main street, but stopped dead in his tracks. He still didn't know what to tell him. What was he going to say when Mika would ask the obvious and inevitable question of why was he here? His brain was a total mess, he couldn't think straight for the love of him. Half of him wanted to run towards Mika and the other half wanted to run back home. He didn't know what was the right or wrong thing to do. He wished there was someone out there to tell him exactly what to do. He wanted Mika to tell him what to do. The most important in all this were Mika's feelings. He would do anything Mika told him, as long as it made him happy. He felt incredibly lonely. Mika was slowly slipping away from him. A sense of urgency took over him. If he didn't talk to him now it would be too late.

He walked towards Mika still keeping a safe distance away from him. He had to think of something to tell him, quickly, if not he would say something stupid again and all this would be for naught. He could swear he heard the tick of a clock, time passing. 'I miss you.' Too embarrassing. 'I feel lonely without you.' Too pitiful. 'I want to feel you.' Too creepy. 'I-

His train of thought got brusquely interrupted by a loud 'clang' echoing through the street. He felt sharp pain on his forehead. Darkness surrounding him. Panic took over him, he was losing his vision. He quickly realized that the darkness he was seeing was only because his eyes were shut. He tentatively opened them and took some time to focus his blurry vision. He realized that he had walked into a lamppost. A few heads had turned towards him and he heard the shrill giggling of girls behind him. His eyes then focused on a pair of bright blue ones, on the other side of the lamppost.

"Yuu-chan?" a familiar voice filled his head.

Yuu's eyes widened at each of Mika's steps coming closer to him. By the time Mika had reached him, the people had already drawn their attention away from Yuu and his small mishap.

"Are you okay?"

He did feel a bit dizzy from the impact, but no real pain. He took a step sideways to remove his forehead from where is was stuck against the lamppost.

"Yuu-chan!" Mika exclaimed, his voice full of worry as soon as he saw the redness on Yuu's forehead.

Mika swept Yuu's hair to the side to take a better look at his forehead. He quickly removed his hand, as if he had just been burned. He looked at Yuu, an uneasy expression.

"I-I think it will bruise," he said averting his eyes from Yuu's, "a pharmacy…" he added and scanned the area around them.

What had just happened? Not a word could escape Yuu's mouth. He couldn't concentrate. The street was spinning.

"Come with me, Yuu-chan," said Mika and went to take Yuu by the wrist. He instantly regretted his action and was instead left with his hand hanging in mid-air. In a panic he guided his arm back to his side and started walking ahead, making sure that Yuu was right behind him.

"Mika," called out Yuu. Mika immediately stopped in response to Yuu calling his name.

"I feel a bit dizzy," said Yuu when Mika turned to face him.

"Ah…" he uttered, hesitating on what action it would be proper to take next, "do you mind leaning… on m-me?" he asked.

Yuu shook his head and Mika stepped to his side. He encircled Yuu's wrist lightly with his fingers and led Yuu's arm over his shoulders. Yuu felt his skin burn against Mika's fingers, at the spots where their skin made contact.

"Is it okay like that?" Mika asked.

Yuu nodded. He turned his head to look at Mika. He was so close he could smell his scent and feel his breath. Yuu became extremely self-conscious about the way he leaned against him. He was worried he was too heavy for him; they were roughly the same weight, Yuu being a few more kilograms than Mika.

"Am I too heavy?" he asked timidly.

He didn't want to make Mika admit that he was, indeed too heavy for him to carry and make him feel uncomfortable.

"What? No," responded Mika.

Yuu was relieved. He wanted to keep this physical contact with Mika a little longer. He wouldn't had been able to bear if Mika had asked him to get off of him.

With this and that, they arrived in front of a pharmacy.

"You can sit here," said Mika, once he gave Yuu his arm back. He pointed at a bench next to the store's door before entering inside, his step accompanied by the tinkle of the little bell on the glass door.

Yuu sat down and waited for Mika to come back. This was a disaster. An absolute disaster. He could have never imagined his plans would fall through just because of a stupid misplaced lamppost; more because of his own stupidity for walking in that said lamppost. Mika came out of the pharmacy sooner than later, an icepack in hand. He sat next to Yuu and pressed the ice on Yuu's forehead. He was too focused on making the redness of Yuu's bruise disappear to notice how his cheeks were slowly turning red. Their faces were so close to each other's. It felt as if they were the only ones there. Mika was gently pressing the ice on Yuu's face, holding his bangs out of the way with his free hand. He leaned in closer to see if the bruise was going any better.

"Mika, I-" spoke Yuu.

His mouth had acted on itself, forgetting to consult his brain first. He stopped not knowing how to continue.

Mika lowered his eyes to look into Yuu's. "What is it, Yuu-chan?"

He wanted to tell him something. So bad. His heart was beating faster with each tick of the clock. He had to say something.

"Mika, I-" he repeated, he gulped down any unnecessary words before continuing, "I-I can do it myself."

Taken aback, Mika leaned on the bench's back, enlarging the distance between them, and gave the icepack to Yuu.

"I'm sorry," he said, "I got carried away."

"No, Mika, it's not- it's not that," exclaimed Yuu, "It's okay."

They both turned away from each other and faced forward. Yuu pressed the ice pack back on his forehead. They didn't say anything for a while. Yuu found it weird that Mika hadn't asked him what he was doing here yet? He was feeling so anxious, his feet fidgeting in his shoes, his free hand playing with the holes in his jeans. Should he say something or should he wait for Mika to say something first? He was scared to let this opportunity slip. One of them had to say something now, anything.

"Yuu-chan," Mika's voice ringed in Yuu's ears.

Yuu's head snapped to the side. "Yes?" he said a little too loudly.

"The lady said you need to keep the icepack for 15 minutes," said Mika, "I think you'll be good now."

"Ah… thank you, M-Mika," muttered Yuu.

He felt disappointed. Yuu took the ice off his face and let it plop on the bench. The ice had melted a bit due to the hot weather. He lifted the hem of his shirt to use the fabric as a towel to dry the water that had wet his forehead. He rubbed his face and hair with his shirt, until all the water had dried off. He let his shirt fall back down to cover his belly. His shirt was all wet now, but it didn't matter, it will dry quickly. He looked at Mika and noticed that he was looking at his middle, his cheeks lightly dusted in red.

"You-you could've used a tissue, or something," he said once he noticed that Yuu had caught him staring.

Mika concentrated his gaze on his shoes while Yuu focused on reading an add on a building in front of them. The silence between them was so uncomfortable. He had to talk to him at once. Though this was not the best place for a talk like that; in front of a pharmacy in a busy street. He couldn't talk to him here.

"Mika, do you want to go somewhere else?" he asked.

"Do you want to go home?" asked Mika.

"No, no, not home… ah," he said clumsily, "somewhere quieter would be nice."

Yuu was afraid that if they went home, he wouldn't have the guts to talk to him and they would remain as they were before. It had to be here and now. Somewhere where he could run away if necessary. They walked without exchanging a word.

"Do you still feel dizzy?" asked Mika, his hands in the pockets of his jeans.

"Ah, no," replied Yuu, "I'm fine."

He wasn't feeling dizzy anymore but he really wanted to tell him that he did so he could lean against him again. He had no idea where Mika was taking him or how long it would take to get there. He promised to himself that he would talk to him once they got there. He couldn't do it while they were walking. The truth is he was doing all this just to delay their talk. There had been hundreds of opportunities since the beginning, but he was still waiting for another one; hopefully the right one. To Yuu's dissatisfaction, they arrived sooner than he had expected, which meant that he would have to start talking sooner or later; preferably the former.

"A park," said Yuu, when they crossed the fence that was outlining the park.

He regretted saying this and wanted to face palm himself. Obviously, it was a park. There was no need to say it.

"Yes, it's a park," answered Mika.

He felt as if Mika was mocking him, unintentionally although he had every right to. They walked around the park until Mika told him to sit.

"Is this quiet enough?" he asked.

"Yes, it's perfect," said Yuu.

He started fiddling with his fingers that were rested on top of his lap. He was so scared of being the first one to say something about it. But he had to do it. He was here now, there was no turning back.

"Yuu-chan, is something bothering you?" asked Mika.

There was something bothering him, a big something bothering him. He inhaled deeply to try and steady his heartbeat that was resonating loudly through him for some time now. He turned his head to look at Mika and found that he was looking at him too. His heartbeat started beating fast again.

"I wanted to tell you that… that" he began, his nails digging into his thighs, "I uhm… I want to thank you for the ice!" he said half-screaming.

With Mika looking at him, Yuu saw again those sad eyes he hated seeing on Mika.

"Don't mention it," he said finally and turned away, looking at his shoes again.

He was hurting Mika all over again. The longer he wasn't talking to him, the longer Mika was hurting and kept in the dark. Mika must've thought things about Yuu, just as Yuu had thought things about Mika that were probably not true. All the misunderstandings had to be cleared. On the count of three. On the count of three, he will do it. He had to force himself to do it, for Mika. 1… 2… 3…

"Mika!" he shouted.

Mika turned to face him once again. Yuu closed his eyes momentarily in order to not get distracted by Mika's eyes.

"I need to talk to you," he said.

Mika flinched. He was scared of what would come out of Yuu's mouth next but he knew that it had to be done. They both needed it.

Yuu noticed right away the scared expression on Mika.

"Uhm… it's probably nothing important, maybe it's just me," he said, not sure if it will reassure him.

Mika staid anxiously quiet. It was too late for Yuu to backtrack now. His heart was loudly beating in his ears, making it difficult for him to concentrate on the words he wanted to say.

"I… I…" he uttered, "I… ugh so frustrating!" he screamed.

He let his head fall on to his open palms. No matter how hard he tried, words wouldn't leave his mouth. He was making such a fool of himself, making Mika wait for him. He felt Mika's hand tenderly caress him on the back.

"It's okay," whispered Mika.

Mika didn't know what to do to help Yuu. He could see he was struggling. He was scared of the things he would tell him and didn't want to hear them. But it was Yuu. He couldn't bear to look at him like this. Yuu felt soothed by Mika's touch. He reminded himself that all of this was most importantly for Mika, to hopefully erase his sadness.

"I think I'm okay," he said after a while.

Mika stopped stroking Yuu's back and went to retrieve his hand but Yuu was faster and grabbed Mika's hand. He steadied Mika's hands between his own.

"I like it," he said and squeezed Mika's warm hand a bit too hard.

Mika smiled at him. Yuu hadn't realized just how much he had missed Mika's smile until he saw it again.

"What I meant to tell you was that…" he stopped, in search for the words that had somehow disappeared from his mouth. "Mika… you being sad, is it because of me?" he asked finally.

Mika stayed mute. What could he possibly respond to this? He didn't want to make Yuu feel bad.

"You don't have to respond, I'm sorry," said Yuu, sensing Mika's discomfort, "I'm probably going to sound all over the place, so please bear with me. I don't really know how to express what I'm feeling exactly…"

"I understand," said Mika nodding.

He placed his other hand on top of Yuu's and his own. Yuu took a deep breath while Mika was smiling at him, hoping that he was reassuring him.

"Mika, I'm… sorry," he said, simply.

"Yuu-"

"I'm sorry for everything! I'm sorry for making you feel sad and making you cry. I'm sorry for not treating you right and not giving you as much love as you gave me. I hate seeing you hurt, I want to make you feel happy again," he said, closing his eyes shut, too scared of Mika's reaction, words coming out of him like a waterfall, "I feel lonely without you, I want to talk to you, eat with you, touch you-"

His sentence got interrupted by a sob. His eyelids flew open to see Mika's cheeks stained with streams of tears.

"Mika, no, please don't cry!" pleaded Yuu.

He let go of Mika's hands and brought his own hands to cup Mika's face instead. He tried to wipe every one of Mika's tears with his thumb. Mika brought his hands to clutch onto Yuu's forearms and turned his head to the side. He didn't want Yuu to see him like this.

"Mika, please don't cry," repeated Yuu, his hands still cupping Mika's face trying to bring him to look at him.

"Yuu-chan-"

"I love you!" Yuu shouted.

He gasped. He didn't know where this was coming from. Once again, he hadn't though things through before acting. Still, he felt as if it was the rightest thing he had ever said in his entire 18 years of living. Even more tears pooled into Mika's blue eyes. Yuu didn't know what to do but to hold Mika's face close to his and dry his tears. He felt his own eyes slowly becoming teary. Mika pulled Yuu's hands away from his face, still holding onto them.

"Do you love me love me? The way… I love you?" said Mika, "I mean could you go on dates with me, and kiss me and-"

"Yes," said Yuu, "of course!"

Mika was surprised at Yuu's straightforwardness, looking at him with wide eyes. Even Yuu was surprised at himself, at the very things that came out of his own mouth. They stayed still not knowing what to do after that wholehearted revelation. Mika still couldn't believe what was happening. This was the most incredible thing that had happened to him.

"Yuu-chan, uhm… does that mean that I can k-kiss you?" asked Mika tentatively, not believing that he had actually asked something like that.

Yuu nodded without hesitating, his cheeks shaded pink. Mika inched closer to Yuu. He slid his hands from where they were on Yuu's forearms to take both of Yuu's hands in his. Their skin felt comfortably warm against each other's.

"I've never done this before," said Mika, "I don't know how to."

"What do you think? Me neither," said Yuu, a furious blush on his cheeks.

Mika let one of Yuu's hands fall. He brought his now free hand to Yuu's cheek. Yuu flinched at the touch. He closed his eyes for a second, reopening them immediately. He didn't want to lose any part of this moment. Mika's hand gently caressed Yuu's cheek before trailing to the back of Yuu's neck where he stroked a few strands of Yuu's hair. He brought Yuu's head closer to his, Yuu's breath hitching audibly. Their whole beings were filled with each other's, their minds entranced by the other's mere breathing, their eyes not leaving each other's even for just a split second, their thoughts occupied by each other, and only that. They were the only ones in this park, in this city, in this world. Yuu felt a weird tickling sensation in his stomach, unlike anything he had ever felt before. So, these were the butterflies he often heard people talking about. As Mika got closer and closer, Yuu closed his eyes, anticipating. He could only feel Mika's breath on his lips, and their body heat becoming hotter and hotter. Mika had to pinch himself, not literary, to convince himself that this was reality and not another one of his dreams. He got closer and closer to Yuu until their lips were just a few millimetres apart from each other, barely touching. Mika took this moment to close his eyes as well and breathe in Yuu's sweet smell. Finally. He tilted Yuu's head with the hand that was steadied on the back of his neck. And then it happened. Yuu felt Mika's soft lips press against his own. As soon as their lips connected, it was as if a million fireworks had exploded, that only they could see and feel. They could both say that they had at last felt this cliché. They passed their feelings for each other through timid lips. Years' worth of unrequited love and new-found love became one, their feelings mutual. This was the most intimate moment they had ever shared together. Yuu pressed his hand on Mika's chest. He could feel the reckless beating of Mika's heart, that was matching his own. Something as banal as a peck had managed to make them feel like they had completely lost their minds.

After a while, they reluctantly broke their first kiss with a faint sound of wet lips separating. Now that they had done it, it seemed unreal to both of them. This was their reality. Mika couldn't believe that he had kissed someone for the first time, and that that someone was Yuu. He couldn't possibly believe that this wasn't another one of his fantasies, but reality. Yuu could have never imagined that his first kiss would be with Mika. It was perfect for him, he wouldn't have it any other way. Mika squeezed Yuu's hand to draw his attention, not that he needed to as Yuu's attention was already totally focused on him.

"I love you, Yuu-chan," he said.

Yuu smiled and went in for a hug. He encircled Mika's shoulders with his arms and rested his head on him.

"I love you too," said Yuu.

He had already said it earlier, but he felt the need to say it again. He would say it again and again, everyday, as many times as he could because he really meant, with all of his heart. Mika placed his other arm around Yuu's back and squeezed him tight against his chest, returning the hug. It felt so nice. Their chests pressed against each other's, they could feel their hearts beating in unison.

"Please don't be sad anymore," said Yuu, his face buried in Mika's neck, "and also, please don't hide things from me."

"I won't," Mika replied with a smile.

They stayed in each other's embrace for a while. It was nowhere near enough, they both wanted to stay like this forever, as long as they possibly could. But, eventually, they had to come back down from the clouds.

"We should go home," said Yuu and made a move to break the hug.

As a response, Mika tightened his grip around Yuu bringing him even closer to him. Yuu was forced to press one of his knees on the bench.

"Mika!" whined Yuu.

He pushed his palms onto Mika's shoulders, in a vain attempt to push himself away. Mika pressed Yuu even harder against him and leaned backwards on the bench, bringing Yuu with him. Yuu was now practically on top of Mika.

"Mika! Not here, we're outside!" shouted Yuu.

"Okay, okay, I'll let you go," said Mika as he released Yuu from his confines.

Yuu sat back straight on the bench.

"Does that mean that we can do things like that, if we're not outside?" asked Mika teasingly.

"Well… yes… we can," said Yuu, his voice trailing off at the end.

Mika couldn't believe what he was seeing. Yuu was so cute, he wanted to just eat him up. He took Yuu's chin between his thumb and index finger and leaned in to place a kiss on his lips.

"Mika!" shouted Yuu, a faint blush falling over his cheeks, "I told you, you can't do things like that outside!"

"You're just so cute I can't help myself," replied Mika.

"Why are you so embarrassing?"

"Because I love you," said Mika.

"Okay, it's time to go home," said Yuu as he stood up abruptly.

He started walking leaving Mika staring at his back. Mika could swear he saw the tips of Yuu's ears turning red.

"Yuu-chan, wait up!"


	6. Chapter 6 - Dreams Come True

They walked side by side through the neon-lit street, the too-bright lights from the myriads of bars and hotels in the heart of Tokyo shinning colours on their faces. Everything was the same, as it had always been. Souls were still linking and parting, still arriving and departing. Everything was the same, yet everything had changed. These common paths of life were the same for every soul that touched this earth, yet they couldn't help but feel that their path was special. A persistent feeling of longing. A sudden confession. It wasn't what any of them could have expected or planned or imagined. It wasn't written or told or seen. But it was better than anything they could have constructed in their minds. They found themselves closer than they had ever been. Although not physically touching, they were joined. Perhaps it was the lingering feeling of a kiss or a hug still clinging to their skin or perhaps it was that special connection felt for someone, a connection that can make one feel like they are joined with that person even when found miles apart. The unceasing noise and turmoil of the city was fading in the background of their own secluded picture. They wouldn't speak a word, as the reality of the situation was resting featherily on their shoulders

"Yuu-chan, I wanted to ask you," said Mika, breaking the mildly awkward silence that had formed between them, "why were you following me?"

Mika's question made Yuu to come back out from the depths of his anxious thoughts. For a moment, he hadn't even realized that Mika had asked the question. The question that Yuu dreaded the most an hour ago and had completely forgotten by now. After everything that had happened, what they had done together earlier, how could he possibly remember such a silly worry? It had completely slipped from his mind as soon as he touched Mika's lips.

"Ah, that…" he said and scratched the back of his head in an attempt to show his awkwardness and maybe make Mika want to spare him from giving an embarrassing answer.

As Yuu should have guessed already, this had the opposite effect on Mika, his childhood friend that wouldn't miss an opportunity to tease him; Yuu couldn't really blame him though, he himself would never miss such an opportunity for the world.

"Were you stalking me?" asked Mika, his lips forming into a smile, first because he knew what reaction will come from Yuu next and second, the thought of Yuu being interested in him enough to the extent of wanting to follow him around was pleasing in a rather strange way.

"I was not!" shouted Yuu, "how could I do such a thing? I'm not a stalker!"

"Don't lie to me," said Mika, "didn't you say earlier, 'please Mika, don't keep things from me anymore'?" he added, imitating Yuu's voice.

"Mika!" Yuu punched Mika's shoulder with his fist, irritated that Mika was having fun with his distress.

"Ouch, okay," complained Mika, rubbing his shoulder, "I'm sorry."

Still, Mika did deserve an explanation. Mika did deserve this much, and so much more.

"I was just worried you were lying to me," mumbled Yuu, discretely looking towards where Mika had rubbed his shoulder to make sure he hadn't hurt him too much, "I just wanted to check for myself if you were telling me the truth."

He wished Mika hadn't heard what he had just said. It was embarrassing as it was but saying it out loud felt even more silly. More so, because he knew that his worries had been clearly unfounded all along.

"It's my fault you felt this way, I'm really sorry," said Mika.

"No, Mika, please don't apologize to me! I was the stupid one, not you."

"You didn't do anything wrong, it was me!" exclaimed Mika, "I did lie to you. I wasn't working, I was staying out by fear of seeing you and having to confront you about what happened. I was avoiding you!"

They stayed silent for a little while. Mika's breath caught in his throat, powerless to rebut what he had said. The last thing he wanted was to hurt Yuu. He didn't want him to feel bad. Because it wasn't his fault.

"Was it that bad? I mean… I made you suffer this much… avoiding me… you must've hated me-"

"Yuu-chan no, I could never hate you!" cried out Mika, stopping them both in the middle of the street, "I loved you so much that I… I didn't know what to do-"

"But I'm way worse," said Yuu, cutting Mika off, "I knew that you were sad because of me. And even if I seemed completely oblivious to it, I knew that you loved me too. I couldn't understand it at the time, and I was trying to pretend like it wasn't there but I knew. I was just too afraid to admit it to myself, that my best friend loved me… in this way."

"Yuu-chan," whispered Mika.

He placed a hand on Yuu's cheek as his eyes started watering.

"And even knowing all this," continued Yuu reassured by the fact that Mika didn't hold any resentment against him, "I didn't take any action. I just left you hurting because…" he took a moment to choose his words, "I'm a coward and… I was too scared to see what was right in front of me this whole time."

"Yuu-chan, you're not a coward!" exclaimed Mika, "You were the one who had enough courage to confess first. I could have never done something like this. If it weren't for you, we would have probably stopped talking to each other completely and eventually drift off from each other," Mika shivered at this horrifying thought, "But you didn't let this happen, so all the pain you may have caused me, it doesn't matter now, because you took it all away. But I… I don't know what I can do to forgive myself for making you uncomfortable and putting you into situations that you didn't like,"

Yuu didn't retort this time, thinking that yes, Mika was right. But he still felt that he had hurt him the most. The pain he felt couldn't possibly compare with what Mika had gone through.

"Ha," he exhaled, "are we seriously fighting for who has hurt the other more?"

A smile started tugging at Mika's lips. "I guess so," he said, "well, I think we're pretty even."

The corners of Yuu's lips twisted into a smile despite himself. He was genuinely happy. Part of this happiness was seeing Mika smiling again after such a long time. He would make it his life goal to make Mika smile everyday from now on. Yuu suddenly felt the back of Mika's hand lightly brush against his own as they started walking again. Immediately, heat creeped up his face. Why was something as small and futile as this made his heart beat this recklessly? They turned to look at each other and found the same embarrassed feeling reflected on the other's face.

"Hey, Yuu-chan," said Mika slowly, "do you… want to hold hands?"

He said that and looked around him, realizing that maybe holding hands wasn't the best ides, seeing as they were in the middle of a crowded street. But, as much as they feared people's reaction, they really wanted to hold hands. It wasn't often that one saw two guys holding hands on the street. Anyone could understand what relationship they had with each other at first glance. It was something Yuu had never thought would be a concern in the past when walking side-by-side with Mika; in the past, before he had fallen in love with him.

"Yes," agreed Yuu.

He wanted to, he really did. His desire was a lot stronger than his fear. They felt a need to show the world that they loved each other. In this moment, it was important. Mika took Yuu's hand and entwined their fingers together. It was warm and comfortable. He could definitely get used to this. Mika noticed that Yuu refused to look in his direction. He was looking so shy. It was so rare to see Yuu being such an embarrassed mess. Mika was secretly pleased by the fact that he was the only one in the world who could make Yuu feel this way. He was the only one who could draw such reactions from him. He was the only one to see Yuu like this.

"Even if we hurt each other, it's all in the past. It doesn't matter if we can be together like this. Let's focus on the now, ok?"

Yuu nodded and with that turned to face Mika. He squeezed Mika's fingers that were nestling securely in between his own as a sign he hoped would pass as affection. Mika leaned in and placed a kiss on Yuu's cheek. Yuu didn't refuse the kiss, or push him away, or say anything at all. He just smiled.

A screeching voice echoed through the hallway as they were going up the stairs leading to their apartment's floor. They both turned towards each other, looking for answers as to what could have possibly produced that sound. Although, the truth is, they did have a small idea.

"Hikari-san?" said Yuu as soon as they turned around and spotted their neighbours on the bottom of the staircase.

Hikari had one hand over her mouth, the other one pointing at Mika and Yuu's intertwined hands, jumping up and down while her husband was looking at her with a confused look. He soon found out the source of her excitement and sighed. Yuu tried to pull his hand out of Mika's grasp, only that Mika didn't let him go, squeezing his hand even harder.

"Hikari-san, thank you," said Mika and bowed, still holding firmly onto Yuu's hand.

"Oh my god! Mika-kun! Does that mean that it worked?" she squealed, "I can't believe what I'm seeing! So cuuuute!"

"Mika, care explain?" whispered Yuu, not leaving his eyes from Hikari's animated figure.

"I'll explain everything later," whispered Mika back.

Mika had somehow hoped he wouldn't have to have this conversation. What had happened at Hikari's house was ranked as the most silly and embarrassing thing he had ever done in his life.

After Hikari had calmed down and gave her blessings to the newly formed couple, they walked alongside her and her husband in silence, omitting Hikari's random squeals and gasps as she was intently watching the two boys holding hands and blushing. As they got to their respective house's, both couples opened their door. Hikari let her husband go ahead.

"Have fun!" she shot towards the new couple, her statement accompanied by a wink, while stepping a foot over the threshold of her apartment.

"Ah, Hikari-san-" tried to reply Mika, but Hikari had already shut the door behind her.

"Ah… hum we don't have to "have fun", I mean…" he continued, turning to face Yuu, "it's up to you."

Yuu didn't respond. This was another aspect of their life. He generally felt a certain amount of uneasiness towards this matter. But now even more, knowing that the person he was bound to do it with was Mika. He had never thought about doing such things with Mika before. Just as holding hands and kissing, they would do this eventually. He was sure that Mika would want to, and he would do anything to make Mika happy. Maybe he would come to want it as well. He loved Mika more than enough.

"Hey, Yuu-chan," said Mika snapping Yuu's attention back to him with a hand on his cheek, "don't feel obliged to give an answer. To be honest, I don't feel ready either."

"I want to do it," said Yuu and cupped Mika's hand on his cheek, "when we're both ready."

"When the time comes, we'll know," added Mika.

At this point, they realized that they were standing outside for quite some time now, just looking into each other's eyes and it was getting awkward.

Time flew by as they were having dinner and discussing about their crazy next-door neighbour. They ultimately had to go to bed early as Yuu still had to work tomorrow. Mika had promised Yuu that he would call the fast food restaurant where he worked at to tell them that he would quit. He hated that job anyway; and Yuu hated it even more. Yuu was sitting on the bed, his back resting on the headboard, his legs crossed, tapping away at his phone while waiting for Mika to come back from the bathroom. He hoped that they could- he wasn't sure what he hoped for- hug or hold hands or kiss. When the bedroom door creaked open, he expected Mika to come and lay beside him. Falsely so, as Mika didn't join him, but instead went towards the futon that he was using as a bed for this past week or so. Yuu was determined to change this.

He sat his phone down on the bed stand table. "Mika, come here," he said, patting the spot of the soft mattress beside him.

Mika opened his mouth to say something, but soon gave up on whatever he wanted to say. His desire to be close to Yuu was stronger than any other worry or feeling he may have had. Mika went to sit next to his loved one, coming to rest against the headboard as well. Yuu placed his hand over Mika's fingers, that were spread out on the bedsheets. He clutched a few of Mika's fingers in his palm.

"Mika, please sleep here… with me," he said, his cheeks flushed.

Mika's eyes widened at the sight. Yuu was so adorably endearing, it should be illegal. And after he had told him that they would wait before doing anything. He couldn't trust himself enough to control his urges until that time would come, when Yuu was acting this way towards him and making his imagination run wild.

"Yuu-chan," he said in a whisper.

Without realizing it, he had moved from his spot and had gotten up on his knees in front of Yuu. He slowly pushed Yuu down on the mattress with a gentle hand on his chest. Yuu didn't put up any resistance at all, something that made Mika extremely happy. Yuu uncrossed his legs to let Mika slip in between them. His hands wandered around Mika's shoulders until they reached the back of his neck. He brought Mika's head down towards him, until his lips were hovering just a few millimetres away from Mika's ear.

"Please throw the stupid futon away," he said in a whisper.

Mika let out a chuckle at the unexpected request. "Okay, I will," he eagerly complied.

Sleeping away from each other had been just as hard for Yuu as it had been for him. Mika was glad this feeling was found to be mutual as well. It had just been a couple of hours since the confession and they had managed to clear up all worries and misunderstandings. Mika felt his heart swell up with overwhelming joy. He loved Yuu so much. And Yuu loved him too. This was a realization that will dawn on him every single day from now on. He let his head fall into the crook of Yuu's neck, and in his turn wrapped his arms tightly around him. Yuu enclosed Mika's waist with his legs. Now they were just a bundle of loving limbs. Mika's face was pressed up against Yuu's shoulder while his mind became hazy with Yuu's scent and the feeling of his clothed skin against his cheek. Mika lifted his head and pulled the collar of Yuu's shirt to the side. He started placing soft kisses on the skin that he had just uncovered. Yuu shuddered, letting out a trembling sigh each time Mika's lips met with his skin. Mika felt heat coil up in his stomach. He needed more. Without realizing exactly what he was about to do, Mika's hand slid down Yuu's chest to come and rest on his lower abdomen, dangerously close the area between his legs.

"Ah, Mika… wait," muttered Yuu and shifted his weight on the bed, trying to get away from Mika's touch.

Mika removed his hand instantly and raised his head to face Yuu. Making Yuu uncomfortable had been enough to turn off his bodily desires.

"I'm sorry," he said, "I won't do anything you don't want, I promise."

He had to wait. Yuu threaded his hand through Mika's hair, a simple action that gave all the assurance Mika need. Mika felt so relieved that Yuu had decided to trust him. In the end, this proved just how much Yuu loved him. Mika's attention went back to Yuu's shoulder where he had been just a few moments before.

"Can I?" he asked, wanting to feel that comforting warmth some more.

Yuu nodded and Mika let his head fall back on Yuu.

The steady rise and fall of Yuu's chest beneath him, Yuu's slow caresses on his hair, Yuu's scent. All of it. It was perfect. They stayed like this for a while, neither of them knowing how much time was passing. Though it didn't matter one bit. They had all the time in the world.

"Hey, Yuu-chan," said Mika, breaking the comfortable silence that had settled between them, his voice a bit muffled by Yuu's shirt, "do you want to go on a date with me?"

Yuu's hands stopped their slow strokes on Mika's hair. 'Fuck' thought Mika. He lifted his head up to look at Yuu, his body overtaken by panic. Did he say something he shouldn't have? Was it too soon? But they had already kissed and-

"Yes," said Yuu, springing Mika out of his loop of destructive thoughts, "I would love to go on a date with you."

Mika sighed audibly in relief at hearing Yuu's answer. Yuu found Mika's anxious behaviour amusing. He had felt Mika's body tense up more and more with each second that passed until he decided to answer.

"Did you actually think I would say no?" asked Yuu, guiding Mika's forehead to press against his own, "We are… together… aren't we?"

"Of course we are, you dummy."

Yuu chuckled. Yuu's laugh. He would never feel tired of hearing it. It was the most beautiful of music to Mika's ears. Yuu was there, right under him. It felt almost unreal, like a childhood dream coming true. Mika leaned in to kiss him, one more time. He was met with Yuu's yawning face instead.

"Someone is tired," he said jokingly.

"Mhm… I am," said Yuu, his eyes already threatening to close.

Mika fell to the side, dragging Yuu who was trapped between his arms with him. Yuu was quick to turn his hips and legs as well to face Mika.

"Let's sleep."

Mika untied his arms from Yuu and went to take the fabric of Yuu's t-shirt, like he had done so many times. Although it was different now.

"Wh-why?"

"You were the one who started it," said Mika, "we can still sleep like this for a little while, it's still hot,"

"Yeah, I feel hot,"

He was too tired to try and convince Mika that now that they were a couple it would be too awkwardly suggestive to sleep half-naked like this. Instead, he nodded urging Mika to continue and raised his arms so that Mika could fling the shirt over his body. Mika did just that. He caught a glimpse of Yuu's blushing face once he reappeared at the other end. So, he wasn't the only one feeling that this was special. It was different to see your friend shirtless and to see your lover shirtless; it was different to sleep with a friend and to sleep with a lover. Mika couldn't help but stare at Yuu's unclothed body. He would never ever get tired of him. Sensing Mika's gaze burrowing his skin, Yuu covered his chest with his arms.

"There's no need to be ashamed," said Mika and gripped Yuu's arms, "I'm only staring at you because you're beautiful."

Yuu seemingly wanted to protest but was cut off when Mika led Yuu's arms to his own chest. Yuu quickly caught onto the message and glided his hands down to Mika's lower abdomen. He started peeling Mika's shirt off of his body. Yuu was totally focused on his task. Mika found Yuu's focused face so cute. Mika found every one of Yuu's faces cute. Yuu had managed to lift up Mika's shirt up to his armpits. He was falsely expecting Mika to raise his arms to make it easier for him to complete his task. But Mika didn't move by one bit. Yuu raised his face at Mika, a questioning air in his eyes.

"Kiss me," said Mika simply.

Yuu's face became even rosier than it was before. He felt nervous to be the one to start the kiss. They had already kissed on the lips once, a few hours ago at the park. And it had only been just a peck on the lips. And it was Mika who had initiated it. Mika's eyes were filled with expectations and cheerfulness. Yuu inched his head closer to Mika's before closing his eyes and locking his lips with his. He was still holding onto Mika's t-shirt tightly, in an attempt to gain some kind of emotional support. Surprisingly, they felt the exact same tingling sensation they had felt the first time they had kissed. Yuu found himself wondering if this is what it meant to kiss the person you love, and if every couple in the world felt like they did right now; as if every kiss was their first one.

"You can remove my shirt now," said Mika, detaching his lips from Yuu's.

"Did I pass your test?" asked Yuu sarcastically, passing the shirt over Mika's head, just as Mika had done earlier.

"You did," laughed Mika, "thank you."

"For what?"

"For saying that you love me and for kissing me just now, for… everything… I still can't believe that this is actually happening, it feels like I'm dreaming- OUCH!"

Yuu pinched Mika's arm. "I'm doing this to prove to you that you're not dreaming. Also, since when were you so sappy?"

"Since I fell in love with you," replied Mika.

Yuu wanted to hit Mika again or scold him for his horrible pickup lines, but deep inside he found it somewhat adorable; rather a lot more adorable than he would let himself admit. Mika didn't fail to see how much Yuu liked his response even though he was doing his best to hide his smile.

"Okay, let's sleep for real now," said Yuu.

"Agreed," said Mika between yawns.

Mika laid on his back, bringing Yuu to lean on his chest. Yuu hooked his leg over Mika's hips, hoping that this position would be comfortable for them to sleep in. He placed his hand on Mika's chest and snuggled his head under Mika's chin. Mika placed a tentative hand on the small of Yuu's back. His fingers felt like burning just by making contact with Yuu's soft skin. Even though they were in just their underwear, pressed up against each other, Mika didn't feel any other desire than the desire of wanting to cuddle Yuu to sleep like he did now.

He would wait. They had all the time in the world.

"Good night," he whispered and pressed a kiss on the top of his beloved's head.

There was no need to wait for Yuu's reply. He was already fast asleep, his steady breath warming Mika's chest.


	7. Chapter 7 - Date

It was almost 6 in the afternoon. Mika was fiddling with the sleeves of his shirt in front of the mirror inside the apartment next-door to his. He was in a slight panicked state, as the time of the date was quickly approaching. And it wasn't just any date. It was his first date with the person he could have never imagined would be his boyfriend today. He was still finding it hard to believe that he was going on a date with Yuu. Yuu who he had loved for as long as he could remember, who he had hugged, and kissed, and slept in the same bed with, and said all kinds of embarrassing things and 'I love you's to. They had wanted to go on a date for several weeks now, it had always been put till later due to Yuu's work or the weather or other circumstances. All this time they had been together, they had only passed the stage of kissing and cuddling. Occasionally Yuu would let Mika slip his hand underneath his shirt when they were kissing. Surprisingly enough, they had not gotten past the point of lightly kissing each other's lips. It didn't seem like a lot, but it was enough for them. Even though Mika still wanted to take things one step further.

"Mika-kun," a familiar voice sprung him out of his thoughts, "that's enough looking at yourself in the mirror, you look great, already."

Mika turned around and plopped down on the couch. He clasped his hands around his stomach, the feeling of the knots and butterflies increasing with every tick of the clock. "Hikari-san, I'm so nervous, what do I do? I don't know how I should act when I see him. Am I supposed to kiss him or hug him? We live in the same house, I just saw him an hour ago. Should I still greet him-?" he paused seeing as Hikari started snorting and laughing loudly, "What's so funny?" he asked, somewhat annoyed.

"Nothing, nothing, it's just… you're so cute!" she said, giggling.

Mika frowned and moved his arms to cross them over his chest, "Hikari-san you're not helping at all! I feel like I'm going to pass out or throw up from nervousness."

Hikari apologized with a small 'sorry' before saying, "But really, I'm so happy for you both! It feels like yesterday when I saw you for the first time on my doorstep, looking so innocent and cute, and now you're going on a date. And who knows what can happen later at night when you're just the both of you in bed…"

Mika let her to trail off, slipping into his thoughts once again, unconsciously blocking the sound of her voice from reaching him. He wondered if Yuu was as nervous as he was. If he also believed that it was important. After everything they had done together, it seemed silly and almost childlike to get anxious over just going out together. But Mika had waited for these silly, childlike things for the longest time. He looked at the clock that was hanging on the wall. He counted every tick, every move of the little hand, every second passing. The intensity of his anxiousness felt almost palpable.

"… the walls here are really thin, it's an old building after all," Hikari's voice came back to him.

"Huh? What?"

"I said the walls are really thin, so you should be careful," she repeated, amused at the flustered expression on Mika's face, "do you have condoms? Do you want me to lend you some?"

"Hikari-san! We're not-"

He didn't get the chance to finish his sentence as his phone dinged in his pocket.

"Ah! He's ready!" he exclaimed and with that, sprinted towards the front door.

"Mika-kun, good luck!" screamed Hikari at Mika's back while he disappeared out of her apartment.

Mika went to knock on his own apartment's door, panting. Why had he run? He cursed himself for his ridiculousness. He was starting to sweat and his face was probably all red. Although it wasn't only because he had run a couple of meters. After just a couple of knocks, the door spun open. His jaw nearly dropped to the floor at the sight of his date.

"Yuu-chan, you look…" began Mika, not knowing which word to pick to describe Yuu, "stunning."

Yuu hadn't realized he was holding his breath until Mika had made that comment. He let out a puff of air in relief. He had put in a lot of effort to try and look like this date meant a lot to him. He had worn the dress shirt Mika had once bought for him. He had bought it for him when they were in highschool with the excuse that it matched his eyes. But, Yuu had never worn it, saying that it was too flashy for him who was only wearing dark-coloured t-shirts. He played with the cuffs of the shirt while he muttered a small 'thank you' to Mika. He hadn't realized how much Mika had moved closer to him until he felt his fingers caressing his collarbone.

"Your collar is crooked," he said smoothing out the fabric of Yuu's shirt. "All done", he stated after a few seconds. He patted the spot that he had just fixed before taking a step back.

Yuu looked up at him, not knowing what to say or do next. He pressed a hand on the part of his collarbone where Mika's fingers had brushed against. His heart was beating so fast just from this. He started to feel dizzy and their date had barely started. Mika took a step towards him once again and placed a hand under Yuu's chin to raise his head up to his. He got closer and closer until the tip of their noses were touching. Yuu instinctively closed his eyes and leaned into Mika's warmth. He partially opened his lips, anticipating for Mika to place his on them. Mika's head tilted at the last moment and he placed his lips on Yuu's cheek instead. Yuu's eyes widened in shock and he instantly lowered his gaze to his shoes, his eyebrows furrowing and his lips forming into a small pout. Mika gasped, seeing the confused and pained expression on Yuu's features.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Yuu-chan," he said, the realization that he might have just ruined their date dawning on him, "It's just… I promised that I would hold myself back, and I… I'm sorry, I ruined the mood, didn't I?"

"No, Mika, it's fine. You didn't ruin anything. I was just expecting you to- Actually let's just go!" said Yuu and walked ahead.

He didn't want to admit that he wanted a kiss on the lips. He started wondering how long Mika would keep up this not-going-any-further-than-a- kiss attitude he had with him. He understood that he was afraid of hurting him or pressuring him too much. And knowing Mika it would take him a long time to surpass these feelings, seeing as he treated him like the most precious and fragile thing in the world. Although the truth was that he himself was also, more often than not, scared and reluctant to do anything too intimate. They weren't like most couples. Instead of getting to know each other bit by bit, they knew everything about each other already. The wounds left by their abusive parents, their insecurities, their boundaries, their quirks. They had seen every part of each other's bodies and minds already. They had only just started exploring their sexuality together. It was still all so new and foreign to them. But even so, in the back of their minds they found reassurance in each other's company.

With this and that, they finally arrived to their date spot: The movie theatre. Yuu had been nagging Mika to tell him where they were going for the whole duration of their trip. Mika's only answer was that he hoped he won't be disappointed. However, Yuu was not disappointed, to say the least. The movie theatre was the biggest one he had ever seen in his life, nowhere near the one they used to go to in their hometown that aired the same old movies over and over again. Truly, Yuu loved movies and they had always made sure to keep up with the new releases, as difficult as it may have been due to the remoteness of their hometown.

"Yuu-chan, do you like it?"

"Do I like it? Mika, it's amazing!" exclaimed Yuu, his eyes mesmerized by the imposing billboard-plastered building, "I've never been in such a big movie theatre before!"

"I wasn't sure if you would like it, I mean we've been to the movies plenty of times and-"

Yuu cut him off before he rambled on. "Yes, but now it's different. We're not going to the movies simply as friends like before… right?"

Mika's heart skipped a beat at hearing those words come out of Yuu's mouth combined with the soft blush that was slowly creeping up his cheeks. He felt even more nervous than he already was now that he knew that Yuu was seeing this as an important step in their relationship and probably expected more from him.

"Of course, we are… we are together," replied Mika.

After buying popcorn and checking in their tickets they stepped into the red velvety room of the movie theatre. As they were going down the light rimmed staircase, Mika placed a hand on Yuu's lower back to lead him to their seats. Yuu wanted to hide his face with his hands from the embarrassing emotions that were surging up from the feeling of Mika's fingers on his spine. They sat down on the soft red seats that were a couple of rows afar from the projection room. Mika had chosen this places in case they needed some privacy. Usually, no one chose these seats, preferring to seat towards the middle. He just hoped that no one would seat behind them and that he would be able to console Yuu the way he intended to. The smell of salty popcorn and the sound of incessant babbles filled the room as more and more people came in. Finally, the doors closed and the lights slowly dimmed, enveloping them in bright darkness, the big white screen in front of them making them squint their eyes.

"Mika, what are we going to watch?" whispered Yuu, while the scheduled commercials were passing one after the other on the screen.

"You'll see," whispered Mika.

"You're so annoying! I'm tired of hearing this," whisper-screamed Yuu.

"Be more patient," whispered Mika back, leaning in to take a handful of popcorn from the bucket Yuu was holding between his thighs.

The lights dimmed even further and the screen became bigger, signalling that the movie was about to start. The whispers and hushes were quickly shut down as the first notes of the soundtrack of the movie began echoing from the loudspeakers. Yuu enjoyed the first few seconds of the movie, although he didn't know what he was watching. Until he saw the little boy in the yellow raincoat. Then he knew.

"Wait, Mika! Isn't this that famous horror movie? With the clown?"

"Yes, it is," said Mika simply.

Yuu gulped. He had seen that scene on the internet and it had scared the living shit out of him. He was sure it wouldn't be any different now, maybe even more, seeing as they were surrounded by complete darkness and the size of the screen made everything appear gigantic. Mika sensed Yuu shifting in his seat beside him, crossing and uncrossing his legs, playing with his fingers in anticipation for what he very well knew was about to pop on the screen.

"Yuu-chan, are you okay?" asked Mika in a soft voice.

"Yes, I'm perfectly fine- AH!"

A couple of screams sounded in the room. One of them being from the little boy in the movie. The other one was from Yuu, that had now his hands over his eyes, trying to shield himself from the horrendous sight in the gigantic screen. Some of the popcorn he was holding between his legs fell on the floor when he raised his feet off the ground in an attempt to fight the scary clown from jumping on him through the screen. Mika clasped his own hand over his mouth, trying to fight back the urge to laugh. Mika would admit it, he had been frightened too, but the sight of Yuu's little stunt made all the fright in his body to evaporate into thin air. He didn't make any comment, only asked him if he was all right, to which he got an angry 'I'm fine'. In the next jumpscare, Yuu turned his head and took refuge on Mika's shoulder, his fingers clutching at the fabric of Mika's sleeve, an action that made Mika's heart flutter with excitement.

"Yuu-chan, are you that scared?" whispered Mika. Yuu had been lodging his head in the expanse of his shoulder for half the movie now, occasionally peeking at the screen out of curiosity and quickly reverting to his original position.

"No…" said Yuu in a small voice muffled by Mika's shirt.

'Cute' thought Mika and couldn't help but smile. "Is there perhaps something that'll make you feel less scared?" asked Mika.

Yuu shrugged.

"Something that will distract you?"

He shrugged once again.

"Maybe…" he trailed off intentionally, a lively smirk playing on his lips, "if I held your hand?"

Yuu didn't react for a few seconds, but ultimately nodded. Mika slowly slid his hand on top of Yuu's that was resting on the arm of the chair underneath him. He laced his fingers with Yuu's and squeezed them reassuringly.

"Better?"

Yuu flinched as the soundtrack of the movie changed to a creepy one, signalling that a jumpscare would come up on the screen any minute now.

"Mhm…" started Mika, supporting his chin with the thumb and index finger of his free hand, pretending to be thinking although he already knew what he was going to ask, because he may or may not had planned all this beforehand. He knew it was stupid but he couldn't help feeling amused and somewhat sly by this whole situation.

"What about a kiss?"

Slowly, Yuu looked up at Mika. Titling his head upwards, he was face to face with him, their noses lightly brushing against each other. Just like how they were when this whole date started. His eyelids fell, his gaze focusing on Mika's lips. He wanted to. They had been dating only for some weeks now, and Yuu could have never thought that they would be in such kind of relationship, but he was willing to give his everything to Mika. He trusted him with his everything.

Their hands still intertwined, Yuu inched closer to Mika's face and latched his lips onto his. He would not let Mika take the lead this time, let him worry and hesitate. He would get what he wanted. Mika's eyes widened at the sudden bold movement coming from Yuu but he was quick to accept and return the kiss. In this very moment, their needs went above merely pressing their lips against each other's. But they were both too scared to go any further. Seeing as Mika stayed passive, Yuu took the risk of slightly parting his lips against Mika's. He managed to take Mika's bottom lip between his own parted lips. A faint gasp sounded from Mika's throat as Yuu began to kiss and nibble onto his lip. He had no idea if he was doing this right or what he was doing exactly, but he didn't care one bit. The mere fact that his heart was beating so fast and that his stomach was about to explode from all the butterflies was telling him that he was at least doing something. He could feel Mika holding himself back, by the way he wouldn't go any further into his mouth or touch him in any other way than by holding his hand. Yuu wanted this. He really did. And he wanted Mika to know how much he enjoyed it and wanted more. Yuu's free hand found its way to the back of Mika's head and pulled Mika down, deeper into their kiss. Mika was surprised but overwhelmed with joy, to the point where he didn't know what to do except to stand there and let Yuu kiss him. Yuu pulled back, out of breath, his gaze not leaving Mika's eyes. His lips were slick with Mika's saliva. It was the most tempting sight Mika had ever seen. They stayed put for some time, Mika listening to Yuu who was letting out small puffs of air, trying to catch his breath. Mika extended his free arm and placed his thumb on Yuu's smooth lips, resting the rest of his fingers underneath his chin. He passed his finger on them, relishing at how soft and pretty they were. He could see that Yuu was growing impatient from the expectant look he was giving him. Mika wanted to enjoy the moment, he wanted it to last as long as possible, forever if that was possible. Finally, he connected their lips together once again, by bringing Yuu's face towards his.

"Open your mouth," Mika murmured against Yuu's lips.

Despite the darkness surrounding them, Mika could still notice a soft blush playing on Yuu's cheeks. Although he couldn't see himself, he could tell that his face was as red as Yuu's, more even. Yuu's lips finally unsealed. Mika lost all sorts of rationality and slipped his tongue past these soft lips he loved so much. He led his hands to rest on Yuu's cheek and cup his pretty face. Reciprocatively, Yuu slid his own tongue inside Mika's mouth. They easily found their way into each other's mouths, as if they had always been destined to be there.

Despite the fact that they had never kissed like this before, both of them somehow knew what they had to do. They both found courage and reassurance in the fact that they were each other's firsts in everything they had done until now and everything that was yet to come. Mika removed his hand from where it was holding Yuu's and went to rest it on Yuu's thigh instead. He waited for any sign of disapproval from Yuu, but found none. He caressed Yuu's thigh up and down tenderly in time with their kiss. The horrors on the screen or the fact that they were in a public place were long forgotten, as the only thing in their minds were the other's taste.

The light came back on, abruptly springing them apart from each other. Yuu's breath caught in his throat. He had forgotten to breathe properly during this whole time. After passing through the initial shock, they looked at each other, laughs threatening to escape past their lips as soon as they locked eyes.

The street lights of their neighbourhood seemed dimmer and Yuu could swear he saw some of the flicker. The wind started picking up, making the hair of his arms stand. He rubbed his arms with his hands trying to keep himself warm while they were walking to their home.

"Are you cold?" asked Mika.

"A bit, the weather is starting to get chillier," said Yuu.

"I told you that the weather was going to start getting colder from now on. Why didn't you take a jacket?"

"I'm sorry, I forgot,"

"Do you want mine?"

Yuu turned to him, still clasping his arms around his body. "Are you sure? You're not cold?"

"No, I'm fine," he said and removed his jacker, "here, you can wear it." He held out the jacket to him but retrieved it once Yuu got his hand on it. Yuu wanted to protest but was cut off when Mika stepped behind him and placed the jacket on his shoulders and then proceeded to helping him pass his arms through the sleeves.

"You didn't have to do that. I mean I know how to wear a jacket," scoffed Yuu.

"Can't I take care of my boyfriend?"

Yuu's eyes widened and all the words disappeared from his mouth. He tried to say something but no real words could leave his mouth. He took a deep breath before saying, "This is the first time you call me your boyfriend."

"Ah- Is it? I guess it's the first time I say it in front of you."

They stayed silent for a bit, not knowing what to say next.

"I kind of like it," continued Mika, "you know calling you my boyfriend. I can brag about you and say "my boyfriend is the cutest" and make everyone jealous. It's kind of dumb, I know," he added with a laugh.

"To who would you brag about me?"

"Hikari-san," responded Mika instantly.

Yuu giggled, "Right Hikari-san, I bet that's the only thing you talk about with her."

"Don't blame me! I love talking about you,"

Yuu laughed to conceal his embarrassment. "You always say such embarrassing things," he said.

"It's 'cause it's Yuu-chan," said Mika, "My boyfriend!". He made sure to say this last part louder to make Yuu even more flustered than he was. Which was a success.

"Ahh! Mika!" said Yuu and covered his face with his hand.

"I want to see your beautiful face," he said, taking his hand away.

He dragged his hand down and held it while they were walking. This time, Yuu just smiled at him instead of scolding him. Mika felt his heart tightening. Is this what happiness felt like? Walking hand in hand with the person he loved. It may seem a cliché thing to say, but happiness really was found in the little things in life.

"Ahh! Yuu-chan, I'm so happy!" he exclaimed, "I'm holding hands with you, and you're looking so adorable. I feel like my heart is going to explode! I could have never imagined something like this when growing up."

"Me neither," said Yuu.

"You were supposed to be straight, of course you would have never imagined this," said Mika and raised their intertwined hands at 'this' to make his point.

"I fell in love with you, a guy, how straight can I be?"

"Wait, Yuu-chan, you're gay?!" gasped Mika, taking a fake shocked expression.

Yuu burst out in laughter. He was soon followed by Mika who let his head fall on Yuu's shoulder.

"I really love you," said Yuu once they had both calmed down.

Mika's eyes started to become teary at the amount of emotion. He looked up at him from where his head had rested on his shoulder. "Yuu-chan… I love you too-"

"Wh-What the fuck is that?" screamed Yuu. He abruptly stopped, catching Mika off-guard and dragging him along in his halt.

"Wh-what?" He looked where Yuu was pointing at and saw a weird looking shadow moving towards them. Yuu took a step back, practically falling on him. Mika had to hold him by his hips to prevent him from going any further and tripping on his feet. His heartbeat softened when the shadow stepped out of the darkness and went to lick its paw and pass it over his ears.

"Ah? A cat?" exclaimed Yuu. The cat meowed and jumped off from the wall it was standing on and disappeared as quickly as it had appeared.

"It was just a cat," said Mika.

They stayed still for a while, coming down from their scare.

"Can you stop fondling me already?"

Mika just then realized that his hands were holding him a little too firmly and a little too close. "I'm sorry," he said and removed his hands before taking a step back.

"Did you like the movie?" asked Mika as they were approaching their apartment.

"Ah… yeah I did…"

It was a stupid question to ask and a stupid question to answer, for the simple reason that Yuu had his eyes closed for the whole of the movie and Mika couldn't possibly focus on it due to Yuu being pressed up this close against him. And not to forget the fact that they spent a good chunk of the movie making out with each other.

The familiar jingle of the keys and the click of the door, and they stepped into their apartment. Mika pressed the light switch. Nothing. He pressed it again. The lights didn't come on.

"Uhm… Mika what is happening?" asked Yuu from behind him.

"I think we have an issue with electricity," said Mika, "I'll go see if Hikari-san knows what happened."

Mika passed Yuu and stepped into the corridor, leaving Yuu inside.

"Wait, Mika! I don't want to stay alone!" shouted Yuu in the hallway, his voice resonating in the emptiness. He run after Mika and grabbed his wrist forcing him to turn around to face him.

"Yuu-chan, are you scared?" asked Mika teasingly.

"No, I'm not! I'll get bored alone, that's why,"

"Mhm, right," hummed Mika, his lips forming in a smirk.

"Hey, Mika!" snapped Yuu.

At this exact moment, the door of Hikari's apartment swung open.

"Mika-kun, Yuu-kun, I thought it was you!" said Hikari that had emerged from the darkness of her apartment, "there's a power outage in the whole neighbourhood."

"Really?" exclaimed Mika.

They looked out the windows of the building and saw that all the streetlights were off.

"Don't tell me you didn't notice!"

The truth is that they hadn't noticed anything unusual. "I… I was only looking at Yuu-chan, so…" said Mika, a blush adorning his cheekbones.

"Mika…" said Yuu and nudged Mika's sides with his elbow, his eyes turning to the ground.

Hikari had to control herself from not screaming in their faces from excitement.

"I don't know how long it'll last," she said, "do you need candles?"

They lit and set up the candles in the living room. The yellow trembling glow of the fire lighting up the room. They sat down on the couch, a rather awkward distance between them. Mika scooted closer to Yuu, their thighs touching. They looked at one another and instantly turned their heads away from each other. Mika discretely facepalmed himself. How were they supposed to do anything if they couldn't even look at each other without the risk of fainting or having a nosebleed? This date was just a compilation of awkwardness from the beginning. Although he didn't hate it. It was the best date he had ever been on. More like the only date he had ever been on. As all the things that had happened earlier came back to him, he thought that it was even better than he could have imagined. Yuu had exceeded all his expectations.

When the silence became too awkward, Mika cleared his throat to draw Yuu's attention before saying, "So, what do you want to do now?"

"Uhm… I don't really know," responded Yuu.

Great. Because Mika didn't know what they were supposed to do now either.

"The candles are a bit romantic…" said Mika without thinking.

"Ah… yes, they are," said Yuu, looking at the candles in front of them, then back at Mika.

Mika placed his hand over Yuu's hand that was resting on his thigh. Yuu looked at him with an alarmed look, his cheeks turning pink.

"Ah, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable. I just wanted to-" he rambled on, taking away his hand.

"No, Mika! It's okay!" exclaimed Yuu and took his hand between his own, "I really don't mind!"

Mika felt his body being overwhelmed with joy for the hundredth time this evening. He took Yuu's hands and led it to his chest. Yuu stilled his hand over Mika's chest. He could feel the loud thudding of his heart beating under his fingers. "You make me this nervous," he said softly, "I know it's really corny but… hum… I don't know why I did that, I'm-"

Yuu took Mika's hand and put it over his chest so that Mika could feel how loudly his heart was beating too. "You make me nervous too!"

Suddenly, a louder thud sounded in the dark apartment, that wasn't coming from either of their hearts. They both jumped slightly apart from each other, startled by the unexpected sound.

"What was that?"

"I don't know, it seemed to be coming from the kitchen. I'll go check it out," replied Mika.

"Wait, Mika! Don't leave me alone!"

"It's ok, Yuu-chan. It'll take just a second,"

And like that, Mika disappeared into the depths of the dark kitchen. Yuu really did not like where this was going. He had watched enough horror movies to know what could happen. He took a moment to remind himself that all these movies were just fiction and could not possibly happen in real life. Still, he couldn't help feeling uneasy and jumpy at the fact that he was left alone in a dark room after having watched a horror movie. He looked around the living room. He gulped. The atmosphere felt extremely unsettling. The street outside the floor-length window beside him was pitch black, and the few trembling candles they had put up dragged all the shadows of their furniture into odd moving shapes. Yuu's feet felt cold and he quickly dragged his legs on the couch and up to his chest. He didn't like the fact that the couch had such a big space underneath it. He heard more sounds that seemed to come from the kitchen. He wished it was just Mika. His ears were filled with the typical sounds of an old apartment house. The creaking of the furniture and the wooden floor underneath him, the creaks of the windows, the rumbling coming from the pipes inside the walls, all of these usual sounds seemed even more disturbing now.

"Mika?" he called out.

Mika didn't respond. Yuu took one of the pillows of the couch, placed it on his knees and buried his face in it. Suddenly, he heard pacing on the wooden floor and blinding white light peered through his closed eyelids. What was that? Yuu's mind was filled with this question, but he didn't really want to know the answer. He clutched the pillow tighter. Suddenly, a hand came to clasp around his shoulder. His eyes still closed shut, he raised the pillow he had grasped in his fists and threw it in the direction of the white light. A thud sounded on the wooden floor followed by a familiar voice. Yuu opened his eyes and was met with Mika's face looking down at him with a confused expression.

"Ah… Mika," he said, trying to catch his breath from the fright, "I didn't know it was you!"

"Who else could it have been?"

Yuu stayed silent for a minute. "I-I don't know…" he murmured, "a ghost?"

"A ghost or a clown?" said Mika. He bent down to retrieve his phone from where it had fallen on the floor and make sure it was ok.

"What? I'm not scared of clowns! That's just… stupid…?" They both stopped talking as Yuu realized that he had accidentally given himself away.

"So-" he cleared his throat, "-what was the sound?

"Oh, it was nothing. We left the window open and the wind knocked out some empty bottles." Mika sat down on the couch, the soft material of the cushions dipping between them. Yuu didn't have the courage to let his legs touch the ground just yet, he had his arms still wrapped securely around them, his chin resting on his knees. Their silence made the creepy sounds of the house louder and Yuu flinched as that first image of the movie came back to him out of nowhere. For some reason, he couldn't get it out of his mind.

"I'm sorry, was the movie that scary?" asked Mika. He placed a hand on the top of Yuu's head and lightly stroked his hair.

"What? No, it wasn't scary at all! I'm not scared!" Yuu snapped and turned to look at Mika, knocking his hand off of his head.

"Yuu-chan," said Mika in a reprimanding tone.

Yuu's lips formed into a pout. "I'm not scared, it's just because it's been a long time since I've watched a horror movie, that's all!"

Mika smiled. Yuu could tell that he was on the verge of laughing by the way he was biting his lip.

"D-Don't laugh-!" exclaimed Yuu, angrily.

He had barely the time to finish his sentence. Mika scouted closer to him and clasped his hands around Yuu's face, framing it with his hands. At the exact moment that they locked eyes, Yuu felt his heartbeat quickening and his cheeks growing hot.

"Mika, what-?" He was cut off by Mika placing his lips on his cheek, right next to his ear.

"Yuu-chan do you want me to make you less scared like we did before?" he whispered.

"I-I told you already… I'm not scared…" he said in a small voice. He tried to look away but Mika didn't let him, always leading him to face him every time he made a move to turn his head. His legs felt weak even though he wasn't standing. He felt like he was going to faint.

"Are you sure?" asked Mika. He went on and moved his lips down to leave a few kisses on Yuu's jawline. The kisses sent weird tingles in Yuu's stomach. He was a little bit scared at this foreign feeling, but it was Mika. And he knew that Mika would never do anything to hurt him.

"So?" sounded Mika's voice, who had already returned to his original position.

Yuu opened his eyes, unsure of when exactly he had closed them. He didn't know what he was feeling but he knew that he wanted this feeling to last longer. All he knew was that he wanted Mika to kiss him like he had just done. "I'm- I'm scared, Mika. Please make me less scared."

As soon as these words left his lips, he wanted to somehow dig a hole into the ground and hide for the rest eternity.


End file.
